Soul to sole
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- August
- 28
Whatever happened to shoes?
I’m talking real shoes – the things that kids used to wear, with supportive soles, laces made of leather, or even rarer, buckles? Those things that came in boxes and were fitted to your feet— not held together by a plastic cord and picked from a shelf?
These days, it’s a rare child who doesn’t wear sneakers to school – unless they have to wear a uniform.
This past Sunday, as we got ready for church, my 7-year-old balked at the brown, leather Dickies semi-boots that I bought without him at Marshall’s. (I liked the price, guessed at his size, and they came without a box). While our church is pretty relaxed about attire – sneakers are perfectly OK—we prefer our boys to wear shoes to church, at least. We’ve don’t always win the battle. My husband tries his best to get the boys to wear shoes to school at least one day each week, but that’s not always a success either. I’ve pretty much given up.
At any rate, the Dickies boots (above) were cool, in my 42-year-old opinion. At least they’re not the Foot Adductor shoes that I had to endure as a kid. Those near-orthopedic shoes, offered by salesmen who did a fantastic job of convincing my parents that they were best for my feet, were so embarrassingly nerdy.
But when my husband laced the boots on my son’s feet, he complained that they hurt and “felt funny on the bottom.� That funny feeling is something he’s not used to: a sole.
Despite the initial complaints, our son wore the shoes to church. And for quite a few hours afterward. Later, he was jumping around in the shoes that “hurt.� Finally, he declared, “They’re not so bad.�
Still, I’m sure getting him to wear them to school next week will be a battle.
Today, as we went back-to-school shopping at a local department store, I noted that there were two rows of sneaker choices for boys, compared with just five shoe options. The sneakers were winning again.
Do sneakers battle shoes at your house? Which one is winning?
This entry was posted
on Monday, August 28th, 2006 at 7:06 pm by Gayle T. Williams.
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I think it’s totally normal for boys to prefer sneakers once they become old enough to really start making their own choices about clothes, and being conscious of what their friends are wearing. They’ll probably prefer sneakers over shoes for a number of years to come (maybe even 30 or 40 years!)
You have to pick your battles. I think if you don’t nag them about wearing shoes instead of sneakers too often, then when you REALLY need them to wear shoes, you’ll have an easier time getting them to wear them.
At this age, they’re very conscious of what their friends are wearing, and what’s “cool” versus “not cool.” And in public schools, where the kids can pretty much wear what they want, this is one of the biggest concerns.
I’m 44, and I still prefer sneakers over shoes! So you might have a long wait before they like shoes again!
It depends on the sneaker. However, some places demand shoes, at least in my mind. Church/Temple/Mosque/Etc. Weddings etc. Maybe a really nice restaurant for someone big birthday. So all kids should have shoes. However, its real important to bring the ankle biter (chuckle) with you.
I hate wearing shoes too, however, the peacock in me wants to look real good on special occassions. Perhaps you need to bring out the peacock in your son. On an aside, dickies makes some really good stuff, but when you first said Dickie along with your age i was thinking the other dickie.. The fake turtle neck one wore inside a shirt.
Good luck..
I have a 5 year old son who will not wear anything that looks like a shoe. This goes along with his refusal to wear any fabric that is not made out of the soft basketball uniform material. We went to a wedding in the spring and luckily we had cowboy boots we had bought on ebay for his Halloween costume that count as non-sneaker church/synagogue/dress shoes. The boots along with a pair of khakis and a polo shirt (worn only once)were as formal as I could get him.
This is happening to me, a woman whose mother wore white gloves right into the 80s and who bought coats to match our clothing and who always had dress shoes. I honestly don’t remember even owning sneakers although I must have! Didn’t they require them for gym way back then?
Wish me luck as I try to get my son to switch from flip flops which he has worn all summer to sneakers. I will probably win this war when November gets here and his little toes start to freeze!
Happy back to school!
Leyla
Gayle:
If you’re lucky, at some point your sons will wear the same size shoe/boot as you or your husband. When they are your size, splurge on a pair of great snow boots—- you know, those unisex-style ones with pile inside that you only wear to shovel the driveway or get to work when there’s three feet of snow on the ground. Hand them down to the younger son, and then you get them! Do the same for “dress” shoes when they reach the same size as their dad.
Mary Dolan
As a kid, the only time I was allowed to wear sneakers was at gym. Once gym was over, the sneakers came off. I even had to wear my suede,pea soup green, tie up Stride Rite shoe to a school outing in the woods. Do you know how difficult it is to climb rocks and explore caves in Stride Rite tie up shoes? I probably went over board with my kids in allowing them to wear sneakers as often as they wanted. That was one of those “when I have kids…” vows I made in the woods that day while wearing my Stride Rites. I must say, however, that I do have pretty nice feet as a result of wearing those tie ups. Hmmm, I wonder how the feet of this generation are going to look as a result of wearing sneakers 99% of the time?
Diane
what i dont like are the slip-ons/zipper/velcro nonsense. and sneakers should never cost more than 30 bucks. anything more it better give me the winning lotto ticket.
i wear pumas, and in 30 years they have gone up that many dollars. they were 32 dollars when i was young and now they are between 40-50 dollars depending where you find them.
Picking up on the point made by Steve C., do any of you have an issue with kids who want sneakers that are fancier, or cost more, than you think they need, or that you want to spend?
Steve talks about wearing Pumas. Back when he was a kid (I’m guessing he’s about 40, based on his comments), they were one of the more expensive brands, but now they’re actually one of the cheaper brands for a basic sneaker.
It seems that sneakers have gotten fancier and fancier as the years have gone by. What was considered fancy when I was a kid is lower-end today.
How do you handle it when you kids want sneakers that cost $150?
for 150 dollars, it should be a workboot/dress shoe/ or something of substance. but a sneaker made to kick around in? Yes when i was younger we wanted the name brands too.
I have been lucky, I have shown my kids what they get for their money and we compare a good sneaker VS. the 100+ dollar one. Count me a lucky dad, they rather a good snearker at a decent price. (so far)
As far as high-priced sneakers, the most I will pay is $35. My daughter is a 5th grader, and I figure that’s what I’d pay for a good pair of leather shoes anyway. And by the way: Sneakers are definitely her shoe of choice. This summer, she’s worn flip-flops occasionally, and water shoes for trips to the pool. But leather shoes—the kind Gayle wanted her sons to wear to church? No way!!! The problem is that because my daughter wears non-sneakers so rarely, the ones in her closet are always way too small by the time she HAS to put them on for some special occasion. Even at our church, sneakers are just fine (for kids and adults). So I guess she’ll be wearing them almost exclusively until her senior prom!! And in truth, at least a well-made sneaker won’t harm her feet. That’s better than some cheapie “pleather” shoe that’s cute for a season, but a poor fit.
Steve and Joye,
You both seem to have a pretty easy time with your kids over sneakers. I wonder if you’d have a tougher time if you had boys, as Gayle does, rather than girls (I think Steve mentioned elsewhere that he has daughters). Sneakers may the one clothing item about which boys are fussier than girls in most cases.
When my nephew was 15, I took him shopping for sneakers. He’s a big guy and even then, had a foot size of about 13-1/2 extra wide, or something like that. The selection available in his size was slim, and many of them were plain white leather sneakers. He refused to consider them because he thought all-white sneakers were for “women, old people, and male nurses.” I didn’t push the issue since I wouldn’t have bought all-white sneakers for myself. Eventually, we found a pair that he was happy with, but it wasn’t easy. I don’t remember what they cost, but they weren’t in the $35 range, for sure.
Steve – Did your dad choke on the prices of the sneakers you wanted as a kid? Pumas were one of the more expensive sneaker brands back then.
Dave,
bzzzt. I have 2 Boys and a Girl. When I was young I learned the value of a dollar. I have taught my boys the same. They are also scouts, I have shown them how the money evaporates come bill time and how much we have to spend on whatever. This has helped a great deal.
My dad, was an old world Italian carpenter, I did and got what I was told, end of story. Did I moan and groan cause I wanted Keds and not Rejects. Of course, but I dealt, once i got Keds and that was it. The Pumas I bought in 76or77 was with my own money from working. I have been working since i was 13 years old(tounger if you consider REAL chores in the house). Odd jobs to real jobs.
I have tried to instill that into my kids. It’s tough when they have friends who’s parents just flitter money about and get them everything and anything to keep the child quiet. One thing I have refused to get are the hand held PSPs or gameboys. Did I have one? yes, but i was also much older when I got it. I have 3 kids and 3 PSPs? cause if one gets it I have to make sure they all have it, therefore none. I rather them go outside and play. The more boring we make it in the house , they more they want to go out and run around
Back to sneakers, I look for the 19-30 dollar specials in Modell’s or the other stores. usually the airwalks go for 20 or so dollars. and those sneakers arent half bad. Payless is good for shoes and boots as well. since their feet are still growing I dont want to go too crazy on great boots etc. But I always bring them, so they can try them on etc.
I was raised by depression era parents and many things I have taken and use to instill the same “sense” to my kids.
Expensive and Good can be mutually exclusive.
steps down from soap box ;-]
Steve, sorry to mess up on the gender of your kids. I don’t know where I got the idea that you just had two daughters.
I understand exactly what you’re saying (though I bet your parents may have had a different opinion about how well you did as you were told…:P). I grew up around a lot of spoiled kids in Westchester in the ‘70s, and today the situation is a lot worse.
Learning the value of a dollar is a lot more valuable than material gifts because it keeps giving through your life, so I agree with what you say in principle, though my own upbringing was looser than yours (translation: I’m more spoiled than you).
I used to wear Pro-Keds too, and then upgraded to the more expensive brands when I got older, just as you did. I even bought most of them myself after I was about 14. Because I went to Catholic school, sneakers were the forbidden fruit; we weren’t supposed to wear them, but it was fun to see if we could get away with it every so often. Today, I have to wear dress shoes for work every day, but I still have more sneakers than I have pairs of dress shoes.
BTW, I read where you said you were a Fordham grad. Same here.
What’s the point of even buying shoes? They only fit ‘em for a couple of weeks anyway! We happen to be on the receiving end of the boys hand-me-down circuit in my neighborhood (our boys are the youngest). It seems that just when I need them, a pair of dress shoes turns up.
This past week, we started the back-to-school sneaker hunt. Our 6th grader informed us that we have NEVER in his lifetime gotten him decent shoes and brow-beat us into getting him a pair of $29 Dr Scholl sneakers with “massage action” (gel) in the heels. Then he admitted that maybe there were 2 or 3 times we did buy him a decent pair. Oddly, he has an aversion to the high-end names: Nike, Puma, Addias, etc.
But have you ever noticed how crappy the footwear selection is for boys compared to girls? And, are we harming our kids feet by letting them wear sneakers most of the time, as opposed to the school shoes we wore back in the day?
Cheryl, I think the idea that sneakers are bad for the feet is probably old-fashioned. It was probably true back in the days when sneakers were cheaply constructed (and the old Converse and Keds were), but today’s sneakers are well constructed and are probably just as good for the feet as some shoes, maybe better. I could be wrong, but that’s my guess.
I’ve got no problem from my soon-to-be-9 year old son when it comes to wearing dress shoes. I let him pick the color and style and he wears them for the special occasions with no back talk. I will admit that he mostly wears sneakers to school unless it snows then he wears boots. In the summer he’s mostly in flip-flops because he says it keeps his feet cooler.
The person I have trouble with dress shoes is my 7 year old daughter! She’s not the girly-girl type. She doesn’t even like to wear dresses or skirts. I’ve given up the battle and let her wear what she wants to school, but for special occasions she knows she has to get dressed up and I let her pick from several options. Most of the time she’ll choose a skirt with a tank top and shrug. If it’s summer, the dress shoe will be a sandal or pretty flip-flop. The fall and winter is tough because she doesn’t like most of the style of dress shoes.
My 2 year old daughter has no choices yet. She wears what I buy.
Modell’s. I was able to get my 2 boys Air walks for 19.99 each. and my daughter going with mom got New balance for 24.99.
Yes i went through 8 years of Catlick school, then public HS. then Fordham. sneakers were for play and shoes were for school/church and formal events.
Looking for a cool sneaker at a great price? You might want to check out the Starbury line (by NY Knick Stephon Marbury). The sneakers, which are really great-looking (I haven’t held one in my hands yet) are $14.98. Marbury has created a whole line of apparel at low prices, with the intention of giving parents’ pocketbooks a break. The catch: The sneakers are only carried at Steve and Barry’s stores and the store in the Palisades Mall STILL hasn’t received their shipment. I’ve been checking almost daily for the past two weeks. I’m told that the Steve and Barry’s store in Manhattan has some in stock, but they’re going fast. At those prices, I can understand why. Still, I remain on the hunt. The Starburys are also on eBay, but I’m not ready to pay the high shipping costs.
Gayle, I have two boys, too, as you know, and we had great luck last month buying new leather sneakers for school at WalMart that cost about $16 or $20 a pair. They’re not name brands, but my boys didn’t care, since they looked cool anyway and I thought they were well-made. We’ll see how they hold up.
Last week, I took them shoe-shopping for dress shoes at Stride-Rite, and we found nice leather lace-ups with leather linings and a sole with traction—not a slippery leather sole. For about $55 each. I like a well-made shoe. If you find a good shoe store, where the staff really know the shoes and can fit your kids, that makes all the difference. Some brands are cut narrower than others, some may hit their insteps wrong. Bottom line, I would go to an old-fashioned shoe store for dress shoes and let them choose something that feels comfortable and that you can live with.
Oh the days of Tom McAnn’s ..
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