Memory cramps
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- September
- 27
My 8-year-old son is having a spate of forgetfulness. He has become notorious for leaving his homework, his jacket, his lunchbox or other assorted items at either his school or the community center he attends after school.
As a result, I’ve just about forgotten how to have patience.
I have to admit, I’ve enabled him for a while. Since school began earlier this month, he’s forgotten things at least twice. Most often, it’s homework that’s left behind, so after I leave work and pick him up, we make a dash to his school, where he and I disturb the janitors cleaning the school and ask them to let us in the classroom to retrieve his stuff. I make sure that he thanks the janitors profusely (And I’ll remember them at holiday time). While I’m not happy about picking up his slack, I really feel compelled to get his homework, so that he doesn’t fall behind.
But when he forgot a homework sheet at school on Monday, I didn’t take him back to school and lucky for him, he was able to complete the work without the worksheet. I’m still waiting to see whether he’ll find the jacket he left at school that same day.
We made a deal last week: If he remembers to bring everything home for five days straight, I’ll buy him a bag of marshmallows  his favorite snack. He remembered everything for two days before his memory slipped again. As a result, he has lost TV privileges for this coming Friday night, and we have restarted the challenge. Now, we’re counting on him to be on point through Monday, or risk losing more privileges.
Are we being too tough? Or not tough enough?
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, September 27th, 2006 at 5:25 pm by Gayle T. Williams.
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sounds right to me. My son got lucky the other day as well. he left his swimsuit and towel in a bag under his desk. luckily no one walked off with it and it was there the next day.
This kind of stuff drives me crazy, especially going back to school day after day to retrieve forgotten items. When my oldest son hit 5th grade it came to a boil.
We looked at places like Sylvan and Score to see if they teach organizational skills, but they don’t teach it as its own subject, only as a part of other subject matters. (HINT: there is a money making business opportunity here!)
Then I discovered a book: “Organizing from the Inside Out For Teens”. This isn’t a Martha Stewart-type “let’s by some pretty boxes and organize your room” book. In fact, it’s not about just organizing your room, but your locker, desk at school, planner, and your life, setting goals, etc. The book has a companion website with assignments and activities that really get the the heart of matters (e.g., what are my time bandits?). My son learned that if you spend less time looking for things you have lost, you will have more time for doing the things you like. A lightbulb went off! There were a lot of testimonials and anecdotes from other kids as well. Good stuff.
CR,
That book sounds like a winner! I’m going to order it right now.
By the way: He left his lunchbox at school yesterday.
Sigh…
wow. maybe he needs more fish in his diet ;-]
lunchbox is easy. brown paper bag. what i think works is he needs to learn a lesson. next time dont go back. if its there it isnt. if its gone and it needs to be replaced, he replaces it with his own money. works wonders ;-]
Gayle, if it makes you feel any better, lots of mothers have gone through what you’re going through, especially with boys.
Your carrot and stick approach is probably the right one. Sometimes, the hardest thing is to allow somebody you love to fail at something, or suffer painful consequences for something, so they learn the right lessons from it.
People usually shape up when they know they have to. If your son knows that if he keeps forgetting his stuff, he’ll miss out on fun during his time off, it will probably focus his attention better.
Your not being to tough. I went through this with my daughter from 2nd through 5th grade. During the younger years she was forgiven and I was not tough enough. By the time she was in 4th and 5th grade she lost priviliges such as TV and video games. She has improved signifcantly now she is in the 8th grade. The only thing she misplaces or loses now consistently is umbrellas. I know adults lose umbrellas as well but this drives me crazy.I don’t want her to get wet and then get sick because then I will have to suffer. I even tried having her purchase umbrellas with her own money. I guess I’m going to have to resort back to taking away priviliges or hope maybe she’ll start wearing a raincoat.