Wearing your kids
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- April
- 16
How would you like a necklace with the names, initials, birthdates or birthstones of your children? Whether the idea thrills or appalls you might say a lot about your attitudes toward motherhood and feminism.
I’m bringing this up because there is a new trend that upsets the traditional role of personalized jewelry. Instead of wearing their own birthstones, initials or names, more and more moms are opting to wear jewelry that reflects their children. It’s become a stylish and hip thing to do, and designers are producing beautiful pieces of fine jewelry to drive and satisfy the demand. You can see an example of Heather Moore jewelry at right. I wrote a story about the trend, which you can read here. I’m raising the question in this blog because I wonder what everyone thinks of this development.
When I interviewed local moms who wear the jewelry, they told me it makes them feel closer to their children and honors the most important relationship in their lives. Lisa Marr of Larchmont, a stay-at-home mom who wears a necklace bearing the names of her four children, told me the charms are kind of like medals of honor. “No matter what you do, if you are home or working or working part time, it takes courage to have children. It’s a very tough job,” Lisa said.
Pam Sloan, a divorce lawyer form Pelham who wears charms with her children’s astrological signs and birthdates, said it triggers thoughts of her kids throughout the workday. She received it as a birthday gift from her husband. “People said, you turned 50, what did your husband get you, thinking in terms of diamonds and big gifts,” she told me. “There is nothing I could have enjoyed more than this very simple statement of the most important thing in my life.”
But when I asked Susan Douglas, author of “The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How it Has Undermined Women,” what she thought about the new jewelry trend, she said: “Pretty and awful at the same time.â€?
Susan, who is a professor at the University of Michigan and an expert in gender and society, said there is a growing perception in our culture that moms should devote themselves body and soul to their kids  at the expense of their own identities. She said we’re in the midst of a the new “momism” that’s a backlash against feminism. She’s unhappy that women are forgoing the historically self-affirming message of personalized jewelry. Think Laverne of “Laverne & Shirley” with the giant “L” on her sweater. Think Carrie of “Sex and the City” and her “Carrie” necklace.
I understand Susan’s point intellectually, but as a mom I can’t feel it.
I could say it’s because I became a mom in my late 30s and treasure every second, because that’s true. Or, I could say that it’s because my daughter was three months premature and we feared the worst when she was born, and that would be true, too. But I don’t think those are the primary reasons why my heart sings at the thought of wearing her initial and birthdate around my neck. I think it’s because I’m so in love with her that I want to celebrate the new, amazing and powerful feeling that’s so much bigger than my own ego.
Maybe the new mommy jewelry is something Carrie would wear five years later, after she and Mr. Big have babies.
What do you think?
This entry was posted
on Monday, April 16th, 2007 at 12:56 pm by Julie Moran Alterio.
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Carrie would totally were a trendy baby pin or something of the sort if she and Mr. Big had kids. After my first child was born I wore her own pendant with her name for a long time. I never bought any of the other birth stone pendants because I wanted something a little more original. I saw these id bracelets with leather bands and I think I’ll order three of them, one that says Nadia, and another that says Marcos and a third that says Mrs. Goni. It’s funny because I never took my husband’s name but I want the three most important people in my life to be with me always. I’ve even considered tattooing their names on my body. Feminism is about being a woman, and motherhood is the most important part of being a woman. It’s a privilege that only we have and one that makes us much more important than men biologically. We are the pillars of our families and wanting to celebrate our families is a great and also powerful thing. Having children makes me feel stronger than ever. Susan Douglas is WRONG. The type of self-affirming that she refers to is egocentric. Being a woman and being a mother is the exact opposite, so I can’t even understand the reasoning behind her statements intellectually.
My mother (grandmother to my now elementary and pre-teen children) loves to “wear” her grandchildren—and I think of it as a trend and passion of that generation—the heads, the shoes, stick figures with birthstones, etc. And my grandmother did it before that. I guess if they came out with something a little more modern and elegant?? But for now, I think of it as a “grandma thing”. Definitely not for mothers of children that have grown beyond their infant/toddler years.
Red Envelope has beautiful, original and modern pendants and bracelets. That’s where I got the idea for the id bracelet. Another of my favorites is the pea in the pod pendant. Now that Mother’s day is around the corner, I bet they’ll come out with more.
Alicia – I received my Red Envelope catalog today, too.
Stuff like this has always been around, in some way or another.
Julie; isn’t it nice? Loooove their stuff!
When my daughter was two, she picked out a pendant at a Mystic, CT gift shop. It was an abstract of a mother reaching down to embrace a child raising her arms to hold mom. I’ve worn this ‘Mommy and Baby’ necklace ever day for the last 9 years. While it isn’t an expensive piece, it is the most important piece of jewelry I own. My daughter picked it out with her own hands, and it’s far more valuable than any diamond or platinum jewelry on the face of the earth. For the women who need jewelry for self-affirmation…get real, you define the jewelry, the jewelry doesn’t define you!
I never thought I would wear “mommy jewelry” before I had my daughter, but now I love to wear my Tali Gillette mamamamamama necklace.
I do happen to have two pieces of Mommy jewelry myself. My husband gave me a pendant with an amthyest the year Pumpkin was born for our anniversary. Last year, he gave me a heart that’s actually a mother and child when you look at it closely. I love both because they are more than just a fashion accessory.
I’ve been looking for a long time for a “mommy necklace” that looked like the type of jewelry i already wear. I’m loving my one from suzannemyers.com. It’s neat b/c i have my kids’ names, but also was able to pick out stones I love that represent a little of me!
I like pearl, I like shopping on the net for example， wholesale jewelry，pearl wholesale,wholesale pearl
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littleJULES.com is a local company I came accross looking for a necklace for my friend who just had a baby…. and wow – cute cute – did I say cute? – stuff. I ended up getting their “birth necklace” which is only $59. It has tiny footprints with baby’s name and all the birth info on the other side of the pendant. Not bad for that price.
Hi Julie – just found this most interesting post.
I wonder whether Susan has considered that moms can be both self-affirming and doting. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, and in fact I’d think that those who also remember to take care of themselves probably make better moms.
That said, it’s nice to have something to live for that’s greater than yourself.
Nice, thank you
but i just want to find the best marketplace for wholesale toys online
Does anyone else have any experience with this?