Taking cues from Mom and Dad
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- September
- 12
After reading this story from the Dallas Morning News, I saw a little bit of myself. And my son.
One of my sons (I won’t say which, to refrain from slightly embarrassing him) is a little preoccupied with getting injured. Although he’s all rough-and-tumble, plays sports and generally moves around quite a bit, he’s quite fearful of being hurt or sick. For a while, I fell right into his trap and responded to his every cry, cut, scrape or fall. Now, my husband and I know better and refrain from running to him every time he has a minor health concern.
“If a child sees a parent with a pronounced reaction to an injury or negative incident, they respond in kind,” Dallas pediatrician Dr. Chris Drieling says in the article. “They will get scared, and it will exacerbate the situation into something more than it really is. But if the parent can keep their reaction calm, the next time it happens the child will know that he will be OK.”
I particularly like Dr. Drieling’s advice for parents, which include “Don’t tell her not to cry or say, ‘Don’t be a baby.’ ” (I can’t stand when parents do this; and “Do stop for two seconds and assess the situation.”
That way of thinking makes sense to me. If I lose it when my son falls, he loses it. But if I’m calm, he’ll be much more likely to keep cool. Ultimately, I want my son to not be so anxious about injuries. I think I’ll take this tactic the next time he panics. Of course, if it’s a real injury, I’m all over it. But for the small stuff? I think I’ll skip sweating it.
What about you? Do you jump each time your kid falls? Do you think it’s the right thing to do?
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, September 12th, 2007 at 5:32 pm by Gayle T. Williams.
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Kids will always take their cue from their parents. If a parent makes a big deal about something, the child will also. I’ve also seen cases in which kids have learned to use either minor or faked injuries to manipulate parents, once they recognize that parents will respond to that.
This reminds me of the helicopter trip that I took over Boston in July. It was my first helicopter trip, and I was a little nervous, especially when we turned and the helicopter shook a bit. But the pilot was unflappably calm, and that told me that everything was OK, and I should be calm too. He was the person in charge, and I took my cues from him.
Based on what you’ve written Gayle, that makes me think that that pilot’s demeanor is also one that can be beneficial for parents, as well as kids.
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