Did she just say @#*$&#?
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- October
- 22
My son knows every four-letter word under the sun. He hears them on TV, around town, and around school from time to time. There are older kids at his after-school program who let one fly now and again. I’m not naive enough to think you can protect a child from foul language. My rule has been simple: I don’t want to hear them. I try not to curse around him, and he dare not do so around me.
To me, it’s a respect thing for kids. I use “colorful” language in my adult life, whether it be with friends or colleagues. But I draw the line around children, and certainly around my son. It makes me wonder how other parents handle the issue.
I bring this up because of an experience I had this weekend at a shopping center. I saw a woman fly into a rage over a parking space. She got out of her SUV and hurled a profanity-laced verbal assault on another woman. It was one of those “road-rage” type of situations, where the woman felt personally offended. She quickly won the argument, but continued her foul-mouthed rant as she got back in her vehicle, closed the door, and parked. Then she got out and began getting her two young children out of the car, even while she was still going on about the “slight” she was just subjected to.
Now, I’ve let the occasional curse slip in traffic or some other frustrating situation. I’m human. But I quickly apologize to my son if he’s within earshot and reinforce that it is wrong. He knows dad’s not perfect. I simply believe good manners, including proper language, feed directly to how you present yourself and how you are perceived as an older child and as an adult.
So this situation in the parking lot astounded me, in large part because it wasn’t the first time I’ve witnessed something like it. It makes me wonder if I make too much of a big deal out of it, and if I’m just out of step with parents in general. It makes me wonder how some other parents handle this issue.
This entry was posted
on Monday, October 22nd, 2007 at 10:21 am by Jorge Fitz-Gibbon.
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There is a word to describe that woman—trash.
Everybody can slip now and then and let out a bad word in front of a child, but that woman’s problem goes well beyond the language she uses. She’s teaching her children a terrible way to behave.
I’m right with you Jorge. I’m amazed at the language that I hear parents using around their kids. My husband rarely uses foul language around our kids and I can think of two times that I’ve uttered a swear word around them. I don’t use foul language – never have – so it’s not hard for me to control. My husband is usually at his breaking point when he uses it, but then he quickly apologizes to our sons if he does.
It’s a constant battle: What with all the foul words on television, in the movies and in songs, I’m constantly reminding my kids that people who use that kind of language really aren’t smart. If they were, they would have a better vocabulary of words to choose from to express their sentiments.
It’s funny, we never use foul language when we speak in English, but when speaking in Spanish, it get’s a little xrated. Of course we try to censor it around the kids, but every now and then things slip out…The same was when I was a child. People ask me if I speak any Italian, all I can remember are the curse words my dad used!
same thing happened when my neighbor backed into my friends car. she started cursing at us, and saying we lied etc etc. meanwhile both her grand kids not more than 4 years old were right there, and she explained to them exactly what she said. luckily she isnt my neighbor anymore…
Nice neighbors you have, Steve.
I think the issue here is not so much just the language, but the abusive way in which it’s used. In the cases described here by Jorge and Steve, the behavior of the people involved would have been highly offensive even without bad language. The bad language simply enhanced the overall trashiness of these peoples’ behavior, especially in front of children.
On the other hand, bad language used in the right company is not necessarily offensive, or at least I don’t find it to be. I think it depends not so much on the words themselves, but the way in which they are used.
That’s a very good point. The behavior is ultimately the main issue here. I think the overall notion that the children come second, and the perceived “slight” of possibly losing a parking space comes first, speaks volume about the person as a parent.
Now, it might be a tad unfair to judge someone based on one incident. But it certainly didn’t leave me with a good impression. That can’t be good.
yes exactly intent is always the driving force.
i can call you a spaghetti eater. which in itself doesnt mean a whole lot, but the intent behind it could be very infuriating to you.