Wanted: More parents
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- November
- 7
National Adoption Day is one of those landmark days that comes around every year but most of us rarely notice. It’s kind of under the radar. But it’s also the kind of day that serves to remind us that, no matter how many of us are out here dealing with the ups and downs of parenting, there are way too many kids out there waiting for a mom or dad of their own.
This year, “National Adoption Day,”:http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/2007/index.asp which is meant to raise awareness to the plight of the more than 114,000 kids in foster care awaiting adoption, falls on Nov. 17. For 2007, the goals include a move to finalize adoptions in all 50 states and to improve networking between courts, adoption agencies and advocacy groups.
My colleague Noreen O’Donnell “wrote about this”:http://www.thejournalnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071031/NEWS01/710310369/1265/COLUMNIST25 recently, highlighting some of the efforts that “Westchester County”:http://www.westchestergov.com/adoption will follow through with to commemorate the day. It’s worth reading through.
Personally, adoption is one of those things my girlfriend and I have both seriously wanted to do down the line, when we get more settled in. Clearly, it’s a challenge to take on, but one I suspect would be immensely rewarding. If you’ve had the same thought, check out “the state website”:http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/adopt on adoption.















I think a big part of the problem is that it takes so long for kids in foster care to be released for permanent adoption. Most people don’t want to make a large emotional investment in a child, only to see the child sent back to his/her natural parents (well, usually only one parent) after she gets ‘clean’ for the 5th time. We seem to give very bad biological parents too many chances to get back on track, at the expense of their kids.
Often, by the time a child in the foster care system is finally free for permanent adoption, he/she is older and has developed a lot of emotional problems due to the whole experience, on top of the awful home he/she came from. The system often victimizes these kids for a second time because it gives their natural parents so many opportunities to victimize them.
For these reasons, adoption within the US has become a nightmare. There is no security or comfort for an adoptive parent to know that his/her parenthood won’t be challenged by a neglectful or abusive biological parent at any time.
This is one reason why so many people go through the terrific expense and inconvenience of adopting from Russia or China.
David;
Unfortunately, the system is poorly managed and the funding is misdirected more often than not. And the truth is that stripping some of their parental rights can be a tough call. But at some point there has to be a better system to make that decision one way or another while the kids still have a chance. As you’ve pointed out, the end result right now is that we’ve outsourced even adoptions.