The online scene
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- January
- 16
There’s little doubt that Internet dating is increasingly popular among single parents. I mean, most single parents I know are looking for a companion, and a lot of them are turning to the web to restart their social lives. A lot of them.
I think it’s for obvious reasons: Single parents have less free time to get involved in traditional dating rituals, less patience for the “dating game,” and, since they’ve likely been “burned” in some relationship capacity, they like being able to surf profiles to be more selective about who they express interest in. With kids in the picture, being selective is particularly appealing.
Personally, I don’t know too many single parents who haven’t delved into it in some capacity. I do know some who have met mates through groups like Parents Without Partners, preferring the face-to-face encounters that offers, as well as the child-friendly atmosphere it provides. But most folks I know like the convenience of the Internet, and know that the stigma and fear of online dating seems to have subsided a bit in recent years among both parents and non-parents.
But how does one get involved? The top dating sites are certainly active, but not particularly designed for single parents. If you’re considering it, the advice I give single-parent friends is to surf around and read up on some single-parent dating sites. There are plenty out there. But avoid “younger” sites, and hunt down what appeals to you. Then be selective and don’t compromise.
One single-dad blogger who reached out to me this week is putting together an online site that seeks to help. It’s not a dating site per se, but Single Parent Romance offers links to some. More importantly, he’s putting together a list of online resources for single parents and will link relevant blogs in an attempt to create an online community.
I’d put it out there as a good starting point. And remember, while it’s not for everyone, there’s nothing wrong with having options.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, January 16th, 2008 at 2:49 pm by Jorge Fitz-Gibbon.
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parentswithoutpartners.com makes me disappointed. There don’t have enough members. I think singleparentloving.com, singleparentlove.com or singleparentmeet.com are much better!
BEA; Thanks for your input.
I was never a member of PWP myself, but know people who enjoyed it. Others didn’t like the concept, in part because your kids are in the mix from the outset.
I did belong to online sites, and was a member of one single parenting site, singleparentsmingle.com, for a while. I didn’t approach it entirely as a dating site, but more as an online community and support group, and I enjoyed that. I have friends from there to this day.
Still, some I know tried the site and didn’t like it. So, as I said, it’s all about what fits for you.
Anyway, I’m curious about your experiences with it, and any suggestions you might have for single parents who are considering an online site.
And thanks for reading.
Hi Jorge,
I always enjoy reading your blogs because so many times you talk about my grandson in them (the 3 year old you so often mention as “one of the boys”).
I hope you can imagine my total surprise when you discussed on-line dating in your last blog and did not tell your readers how you met my step-daughter. She had left her husband and moved into our guest house with her son. We loved having her and our grandson here and we were happy to provide everything for free. She used one of our computers to “find a companion” and found you. Even though she told us she would not even introduce her son to someone she met on the internet for at least a year, within a year of meeting you she moved in with you. She did this before getting a legal separation or divorce from her husband. Our grandson was torn from the life he knew on our farm with his devoted grandparents, cats and dog. None of that is mentioned in your blogs.
Since your on-line dating experience was so successful why don’t you tell your readers the whole truth?
Sincerely,
Jane
Jane;
Thank you for reading my blog.
As I have posted here many times before, yes, I belonged to an online dating site in the past. It is no secret that I met my girlfriend on Match.com. That is why I speak of the process in an authoritative manner. I see it as a positive.
The circumstances surrounding the demise of her marriage, which you addressed in your posting, is typical of many separations/divorces today. It is the same situation most single parents once faced, and addressing that dynamic is one of the core reasons for my blog.
Like most middle class Americans, they remain separated because of the cost of filing a legal divorce. As my readers know, he is a frequent dinner guest at our house and we visitors to his. He has the same financial limitations in terms of filing as she does. They should both be commended, not penalized, for the amicable approach they have taken to the situation.
Likewise, the circumstances surrounding our courtship, and how quickly we realized we wanted to start a new family together, has never been a matter of secrecy. In fact, our joint efforts to form this family and the trials that entails are frequent topics on this very forum.
So, I hope this satisfies your request that I share, again, our circumstances with my readers. I’ll opt not to comment beyond that, as it would serve no purpose.
Again, thank you so much for reading.
Jorge,
Thank you for offering up such a classy response to this “remark.” You’re a prince, obviously, and a great role model for your son.
Thank you, Tangie.
In my business, sometimes you have to bite your tongue for the sake of the greater discourse. In this case, my blog is about parenting in general and single-parenting/blended families in particular. I won’t allow this to become a forum for anyone to further their skewed agendas and engage in personal attacks.
As always, thank you for reading and for your input.