Moving the kids
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- January
- 30
Interesting blog item on the Fathers and Families website. It deals with “moveaways,” or the process whereby children of divorced or separated parents are moved to a new home. It’s clearly a legitimate issue, but I think there are other elements at work in many of those situations, and certainly in the example cited in the blog.
When my ex and I split, she argued for us to keep the house so my son would have one home he was already comfortable with. My view was that if he had two loving homes, it would not matter as much, particularly given his young age. But I gave in and the home remains one of the two he shares time in. Has it been a factor in his adjustment? Hard to say. But I have to concede it didn’t hurt.
In general, I think relocating children is probably not the best scenario if it can be avoided. Sometimes, particularly in divided families, it is routinely unavoidable. According to the ‘moveaways’ blog that I referred to above, moving children in those situations is harmful, and several studies are cited. It is undoubtedly a debatable point, as the blogger himself expresses. And then he cites a case study involving a Massachusetts couple.
In truth, I’m not sure it’s the best example, since there seems to be some intense emotional tension between the parents in the relationship, something which directly impacts the kids. To me, that level of animosity between parents is a more damaging factor in most divorce situations than the simple act of moving a child to a new home after a separation or divorce.
But that’s just the way I see it.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 at 2:45 pm by Jorge Fitz-Gibbon.
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