http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/04/04/the-ex-family-unit/ Mon, 8 Sep 2008 08:53:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.5 http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/04/04/the-ex-family-unit/#comment-7586 Jorge Fitz-Gibbon Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:35:34 +0000 http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/04/04/the-ex-family-unit/#comment-7586 Thanks for the input, Jill. I think the preferred thing would be an outing with all of us, as I told my ex today and as you suggested. I think all of us are aware that we, as blended families, need to make some individual time for our own children, while reinforcing our roles in those two separate families, just as my son begins to find his place in those families. However, I'm still trying to figure out where the boundaries lie, particularly as my friendship with my ex remains important for my son's sake. More to the point, we need to figure out what my son's thought process is in making the request, and whether there is something more to it. On one level it seems innocent enough. On another, it might be setting him up for disappointment. I plan to gently address this in a discussion with my son and take it from there, and pick his mom's brain a bit on what her thoughts are on the whole thing. Thanks for the input, Jill.
I think the preferred thing would be an outing with all of us, as I told my ex today and as you suggested. I think all of us are aware that we, as blended families, need to make some individual time for our own children, while reinforcing our roles in those two separate families, just as my son begins to find his place in those families.
However, I’m still trying to figure out where the boundaries lie, particularly as my friendship with my ex remains important for my son’s sake. More to the point, we need to figure out what my son’s thought process is in making the request, and whether there is something more to it.
On one level it seems innocent enough. On another, it might be setting him up for disappointment.
I plan to gently address this in a discussion with my son and take it from there, and pick his mom’s brain a bit on what her thoughts are on the whole thing.

]]> http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/04/04/the-ex-family-unit/#comment-7585 Jill Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:23:19 +0000 http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/04/04/the-ex-family-unit/#comment-7585 It's hard for me to imagine that this could be a good idea. Why not plan a trip with all the current partners? You, your girlfriend, your son's mom and her husband. It does sound a little bit like letting him pull you guys together in a way that doesn't match the reality of your lives and that could cause major upsets in your relationship with your girlfriend and his mom's relationship with her husband -- which would not be good for him in the long run, either. It’s hard for me to imagine that this could be a good idea. Why not plan a trip with all the current partners? You, your girlfriend, your son’s mom and her husband. It does sound a little bit like letting him pull you guys together in a way that doesn’t match the reality of your lives and that could cause major upsets in your relationship with your girlfriend and his mom’s relationship with her husband—which would not be good for him in the long run, either.

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