Bring it on. My kid’s 10 and I figure it’s high time he got his first rock concert under his belt. After all he’s a little metal head like his dad, and is pretty crazy about Green Day and My Chemical Romance. I’ve even gotten him into Black Sabbath and Radiohead.

But, aside from his recording-artist uncle, he hasn’t really been to a live show yet. We’re changing that.

How to start? My first criteria was that he fare better than I did for my first concert. I was in seventh grade and they gave out promotional tickets for the old Westchester Premier Theater. The performer was country-crooner-turned-casino-act “Mac Davis,”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZNWz00R3Ng&feature=related with comedian Gabe Kaplan — in his pre-Welcome Back Kotter days — as the opening act.

It got better after that. Linda Ronstadt was next, and before you knew it it was Santana, the Allman Brothers, Kiss, etc. By my last year of high school, we were at the old Palladium on 14th Street almost every weekend, watching everyone from Van Halen to Twisted Sister, and whoever else showed up to play that day.

Now it’s my son’s turn. And it’s just going to be our own thing, as the other half of our blending family — my girlfriend and her little boy — will hold down the homefront for the night. For the two of us, I think it’s good bonding time in a “coming-of-age” kind of way, although I suspect other divorced and single parents do these kinds of things as some sort of compensation for time lost or something. To me, it’s really just a great thing to share with my son.

So, the first thing I sought in planning it was advice. The “Family Education”:http://www.familyeducation.com/home website offered a list of suggestions on “what to keep in mind”:http://fun.familyeducation.com/music-performances/family-time/36505.html in such a situation. Some of it was common sense, some of it was silly. But it was advice nonetheless.

The next step was, where to go? I actually considered the Van Halen show at Madison Square Garden tonight. But the Garden was never great on acoustics, is kinda big, and it’s hard to get close to the stage. Besides, decent tickets for this show would’ve run me about $300 a pop. So, that was out. As it is, I had just missed a golden opportunity to take my boy to the Garden: My Chemical Romance wrapped up their tour there on May 9, about one week before I got the rock concert bug in my head. Smaller venues were okay, but they’re mostly just glorified bars which are fine for me, but not for a 10-year-old.

Ultimately, I narrowed it to three sites, including the Beacon Theater and the Jones Beach Theater. The third was “Radio City Music Hall,”:http://www.radiocity.com and that’s where we’re headed. That’s not to say that we may not pick up additional shows at Jones Beach or the Beacon later this summer.

Finally, what show to catch? Here’s what we picked: “Ringo Starr’s All-Starr Band”:http://www.radiocity.com/events/ringo-starr.html at the end of next month. I mean, the guy’s a former Beatle, has fun on stage, and puts together a fun group of musicians every time he comes around. This year he’s playing with, among others, Edgar Winter, Billy Squier and Colin Hays from Men at Work. My son loves Winter’s classic, “Frankenstein,” and the rest of it will be kind of a trip for me, since I listened to some of those guys in my teens and 20s.

There are still all these tiny worries dancing around my head, from the show running too late, to someone blowing smoke in his face all night, to drunken behavior around us — all relatively minor issues to me in the larger scope of things. Mostly, I’m kind of excited myself to see any kind of show after several years without one.

So, how’d I do? I gotta think it’s gonna be a thrill for him to just be at a show, let alone for someone legendary like Ringo. I still have it in me to take him to something more hard-edged down the line, and particular would love one guitar hero or another, as my son is learning to play. But, for now, we’ll see how it goes with the Beatle.

Friday was the big night out for my son — his school dance.

This was my son’s second dance, coming on the heels of last year’s fourth grade gala. The fifth-grade version wasn’t much different, except that I have learned to be less intrusive. That is to say, the first time around my ex and I were both there, and she kept prodding him to go and pick a girl to dance with. Not sure what we were thinking, because I wasn’t exactly love-struck at his age.

This time around I was on my own, so I backed off and let him do his thing. I noticed that I was one of the few solo parents there, and actually felt like something of an outcast being a single parent. That’s something that rarely happens with me, so it was an odd sensation. One of the other parents — who I actually went to school with years and years ago — spent a bit of time telling me about his storybook marriage and the splitting of parenting duties he and his wife are able to do: His wife took their son to a Boy Scout event the same night, so he escorted his daughter to the dance. I didn’t take offense, but I wondered why he felt it necessary.

Either way, I did my own thing, and watched from the wings with great amusement. My son, to his credit, stood in the crowd and danced his butt off pretty much  all night. At that age, they’re not necessarily looking for girls to dance with. The girls themselves nearly all dance — again on their own or with other girls. There’s just a real gender divide at this age.

Looking around that room, I wondered when that will start to change. He had his first kiss in kindergarten, and was quite popular with two girls in first grade. By second, he showed less interest, to the degree that now he couldn’t care less if a girl showed interest. So when does that change? I’m sure by high school it’ll be THE issue, over what girl or other he likes or likes him.

In the meantime, I’m good with standing in the wings and watching him do his own thing. As for being one of the few solo parents in the crowd, I’m good with that too. My boy seems okay with it.

Is it that time of year already?

Seems to me that every year my ex and I do this vacation juggling act with our son: Who gets him which week, who has to compromise their plans, who put in for a particular week first, and so on and so on. Frankly, it’s when our amicable custodial agreement is most tested.

This year, my girlfriend and I have plans to head south to spend a week at a beach resort with our two boys, although our departure is delayed one day because of a scheduling conflict with my ex. My ex, meanwhile, has to interrupt her week away to drive back and drop my son off for my scheduled weekend with him. Well, it happens. We’ll work around it. The real tricky part comes with the bartering for weekends. It’s inevitable that we have to swap our weekends for this or that three-day getaway: I want to fly out and see my brother and my nephews on her weekend; she wants to extend her vacation by keeping our son over my weekend.

Let the negotiations begin!

We always end up working it out, and have somehow managed to keep our post-divorce friendship intact. But it leaves me wondering if there isn’t a system we could put into play, or some process that would make this whole juggling act function more smoothly in years to come, particularly as it’s not just the two of us that are affected by our scheduling: There’s her husband and his son, and my girlfriend and her little boy — our blended family. Everyone is potentially inconvenienced if it tips the wrong way.

So, does anyone have a fool-proof formula for this stuff?

I’m a little confused.

One of the things we have been adamant about teaching our boys is good manners. This is something my mom drilled into my brother and myself since we were young, and something I’ve always taught my own child. My girlfriend is the same with her boy, and we both insist on good table manners and polite behavior.

So why do I feel like we’re in the minority? It can’t be for lack of resources on this stuff. Five minutes online and I was able to track down several tip sheets and suggestions for teaching your children manners. Some of the better ones include “this web page”:http://www.essortment.com/all/teachingchildre_mwm.htm as well as “this other site”:http://life.familyeducation.com/manners/parenting/30148.html?detoured=1 on the same topic. So what’s going on?

Let me back up. We had two experiences this weekend that make me wonder if young people aren’t being taught manners:

On Saturday, we had a four-year-old birthday party for my girlfriend’s son. When it was time for pizza one of the little boys decided he wanted another boy’s chair, and pretty much muscled him out of it. I get it: He’s only four. But the boy’s father just watched, made one half-hearted suggestion that he not be so pushy, then let it go. The other boy burst into tears.  Poor parenting.

Then the following day, we went shopping at Target in Mount Kisco. We had to return some stuff, so went to the “customer service” counter. The young woman there puts out her hand for the receipt, turns her head to talk to someone else, then, when the receipt was in her hand, she immediately says she’s calling a manager because she doesn’t put up with customers being disrespectful. Huh? The manager comes, never apologizes and says he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Meanwhile, the young woman glares, the manager sees nothing wrong with it and suggests we go on our way.

Two varying encounters, one basic problem. In the first, a four-year-old needs to be directed toward good behavior, and it’s up to the parent to ensure that happens. Children learn from role models. Neither my son nor my girlfriend’s son would ever be allowed to behave that way. In the second instance, it’s an example of someone being raised without manners — let alone professional courtesy a young person needs to succeed in any industry, primarily the retail service industry.

To me, this is something kids should learn before they apply for their first job, whatever that may be. I know plenty of single and divorced parents who instill this in their children — it’s not heavy lifting. And, in our own blended family, it’s the rule.

But am I making too much of this? Or am I right to wish that our boys encountered good manners outside the home as well?

 It seems like it’s about time that I gave myself a blended family test. After all, my girlfriend and I have been working on this for quite some time now, and I wonder myself if I’m always doing my part as the two of us and our two boys build our new clan.

With that in mind, I went on the web and stumbled onto “this online piece”:http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Blended-Family—-Three-Tips-On-Making-Your-Blended-Family-Blend&id=580108 on making blended families work. Seems as good as any three tips I’ve come across. And what better way to rate my own performance?

So, here goes:

TIP 1: Both parents need to stop tooting their own horns. Each parent needs to give up the old ways of family and agree on a unified way that each agrees to for raising the children.

MY GRADE: This has been an adjustment for me, but I am increasingly open. One does get into parenting habits when you’re a single parent, and you tend to cling to them when they worked. So, shaking loose of that in a new familial setting takes some effort. I’m learning, or at least being more open to it. Grade: C

TIP 2:  Each parent and each of the children must learn to accept differences.

MY GRADE: Another adjustment for me, but one I was a tad more prepared for. I think I’ve generally done quite good on it, though. And my son has generally been a trooper, so some of that must rub off on me. Grade: B+

TIP 3: This new family will need to learn how to be courteous to each other.

MY GRADE: I think I’m generally pretty good on this one. Disagreements do at times breed discourteous behavior, and I’m a firm believer that a healthy disagreement now and again lets off some steam. Grade: B-

If I’m honest with myself I’d have to say that there are two major things I’ve learned, and need to heed more often. First, not to let things fester, no matter how minor they seem at the time; and, second, address the more sensitive issues at calm, stress-free times. Do I always take my own advice on these things? Probably not.

But, you know, this whole thing is a work in progress, and the fact that we talk about these things is a real plus. But I could honestly do better. I figure that gives me an overall C+ grade. Maybe next semester I can get up to a B?

 Mother’s Day can be a tad hectic for me. That’s simply because of all the mother’s around me, from my girlfriend, to my mom, to my ex, to my girlfriend’s mom, who will be visiting this weekend. I think I can skate with a phone call on a couple, but will have to put up on at least two of them. Heck, we may even want to get flowers for our neighbor, who we have become friendly with.

But I consider myself lucky, with all those moms around me. And it made my thoughts wander a bit to the single dads out there. The assumption might be that divorced dads with shared custody give up the weekend to their ex’s, much as you would expect a divorced mom to do the same on Father’s Day. Then I figure there are truly single dads raising the kids solo. What do they do?

No surprisingly, I wasn’t the only one tossing this around in my head. I came across a blog post on, of all places, the “AdoptionBlogs.com”:http://www.adoptionblogs.com website that addressed this very thing. In this case, the writer simply put the question to several dads “and came up with this”:http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/mother-s-day-as-a-dad entry. It hardly addresses all scenarios, but it highlights my thinking that, based on their individual circumstances, Mother’s Day can be a radically different experience for the dads out there.

Any stories of your own?

One of the things that my divorce has accomplished for me is that it has created a very close bond with my son. That’s not to say he’s not equally attached to his mother. But, basically, we had a lot of time together when he was with me. I think that’s the nature of the circumstances that he was hurled into.

That’s kind of why I was intrigued when I came across “an article in Science Daily”:http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080109094337.htm about a study out of Penn State. The study suggests that divorce widens the gap between fathers and their children, compared to mothers. I think that says quite a bit about custodial outcomes from divorces, and the fact that mothers are predominantly named the custodial parent.

But one of the more striking findings was that, prior to divorce, 71 percent of the youngsters interviewed for the study reported being very close to their mothers, but only 57 percent said they were very close to their fathers. So I wonder, do fathers who develop a close relationship with their children before a divorce do a better job of keeping that alive after a divorce? Or is it out of our hands?