Comments on: It’s vacation negotiation time….again http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 06:31:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.5 By: Jorge Fitz-Gibbon http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7695 Jorge Fitz-Gibbon Tue, 20 May 2008 14:12:19 +0000 http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7695 Our arrangement is similar to the one dadshouse described. And, likewise, it's when someone doesn't respect the arrangement that it gets sticky. I gave up a lot of Thanksgiving because my ex's family is here and mine is in Florida, so I've let him head over there. So far we're good on Christmas, because my ex is Jewish and agreed that I'd always have him on Christmas, although she comes over in the morning. That's bound to get tricky now that she's married to a Christian, but we'll fight that battle when it comes up. I'm certainly not likely to relent on that one. Our arrangement is similar to the one dadshouse described. And, likewise, it’s when someone doesn’t respect the arrangement that it gets sticky. I gave up a lot of Thanksgiving because my ex’s family is here and mine is in Florida, so I’ve let him head over there. So far we’re good on Christmas, because my ex is Jewish and agreed that I’d always have him on Christmas, although she comes over in the morning. That’s bound to get tricky now that she’s married to a Christian, but we’ll fight that battle when it comes up. I’m certainly not likely to relent on that one.

]]> By: Steve C. http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7694 Steve C. Tue, 20 May 2008 02:35:07 +0000 http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7694 I am not in your position. But i have seen these issues played out amongst others. Its all fair and equitable until someone loses an eye. As the Jethro Tull song goes: Nothing is Easy. In the end its about the kid and your own personal sanity. The minute you look for a cookie cutter solution is the minute you will create a bigger issue which may negatively impact the relationship. Maybe not keeping track of the exact amount of time the child spends. But make sure that if the "schedules" get changed that when the one parent or the other needs to change it just gets changed without the usual well how do i get my day(s) back. Like i said , this is an outsider's view so see it for what it is.. good luck with the situation .. ;-) I am not in your position. But i have seen these issues played out amongst others.
Its all fair and equitable until someone loses an eye.

As the Jethro Tull song goes: Nothing is Easy.
In the end its about the kid and your own personal sanity.

The minute you look for a cookie cutter solution is the minute you will create a bigger issue which may negatively impact the relationship.

Maybe not keeping track of the exact amount of time the child spends. But make sure that if the “schedules” get changed that when the one parent or the other needs to change it just gets changed without the usual well how do i get my day(s) back.

Like i said , this is an outsider’s view so see it for what it is.. good luck with the situation ..

;-)

]]> By: dadshouse http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7693 dadshouse Mon, 19 May 2008 23:05:47 +0000 http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7693 My ex and I divide holidays each year - one gets Thanksgiving with the kids, the other gets Xmas; one gets Mem Day, the other gets Labor Day, etc. In summer, one of us gets first dibs on a month-long stretch with the kids; next summer, the other gets first dibs. It has worked well, for the most part, and has only fallen apart when one of us hasn't respected the boundaries of the arrangement. But that's easily solved by waving the agreement in the air and suggesting an attorney might help restore order. (We have an amicable relationship when things stay on track!) My ex and I divide holidays each year – one gets Thanksgiving with the kids, the other gets Xmas; one gets Mem Day, the other gets Labor Day, etc. In summer, one of us gets first dibs on a month-long stretch with the kids; next summer, the other gets first dibs.

It has worked well, for the most part, and has only fallen apart when one of us hasn’t respected the boundaries of the arrangement. But that’s easily solved by waving the agreement in the air and suggesting an attorney might help restore order. (We have an amicable relationship when things stay on track!)

]]> By: Steve http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7691 Steve Sun, 18 May 2008 17:54:48 +0000 http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2008/05/14/its-vacation-negotiation-timeagain/#comment-7691 Hey, not sure how i came upon your blog, but I did. I'm in your area (Nyack). Used to own the restaurant "Reality Bites." Have a blog at damneddads.com. Perhaps a little more angst-ridden than yours, but thought we could exchange links? you can reach me at angstunltd@gmail.com cheers, steve Hey,
not sure how i came upon your blog, but I did. I’m in your area (Nyack). Used to own the restaurant “Reality Bites.” Have a blog at damneddads.com. Perhaps a little more angst-ridden than yours, but thought we could exchange links? you can reach me at angstunltd@gmail.com

cheers,
steve

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