And no, I don’t mean supernaturally with the aid of a spiritual medium. I mean in thoughts, whether recorded in pen and ink, an audio or video recording or in a final e-mail message.

This is a question every parent needs to think about, whether we are hale and hearty or fresh from a disturbing biopsy. We cannot know in what manner or time our deaths will come, and we need to think about who we are leaving behind.

Most people probably (hopefully) have a will and have named a guardian. Some have life insurance. But how many of us have prepared a message for our kids to hear or read or see after we die? A message that lets them know who we were, what we dreamed and what we hope for their future?

What inspired this post is the amazing story of Randy Paush, who died today. He was a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University who performed pioneering work in virtual reality and how people relate to computers. He was also an inspiring teacher who embraced life with unusual zeal and joy.

Last September, he delivered a lecture that has become famous, first as a YouTube phenomenon and later as a best-selling book. What made the hour-long talk such a phenomenon was the wisdom, humor and humanity Paush conveyed in what he called his “last lecture.” Just 47, he learned weeks before the lecture that he would soon die of pancreatic cancer. But the lecture is not doom and gloom. Far from it. It was about how he had achieved his childhood dreams. The lecture, which has inspired millions, was truly given for an audience of three: Paush’s children, who today are 6, 3 and 2. “Under the ruse of giving an academic lecture, I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children,” he wrote in the introduction to his book, “The Last Lecture.” (Photo from USA Today.)

Here is the original Wall Street Journal article written by a reporter who attended the lecture and was moved to share it with the world (no subscription required). Here is USA Today’s story on his death, which has a links to a very nice photo gallery. And here is a link to a Diane Sawyer report on Pausch.

Since I heard that Randy died today, I’m crying tears of both sadness, inspiration — and guilt. I learned of his story months ago when I read this article and still haven’t created a posthumous message to Pumpkin.

I need to do this. We all need to do this. While few of us will have the talent of Randy Paush — or have lived his amazing life — we all can share something of ourselves with our children that can last even if we aren’t here. And if we are still alive as we hope, well then, won’t it be interesting for both of us to read what I imagined what I’d want to say to Pumpkin on her graduation day, the first day of her first job, her wedding day and the day her first child is born? I’d also like to write a letter to old Pumpkin, who I think about fondly quite often. I enjoy imagining her as a 92-year-old woman — that’s my goal age for her — and I hope with such hope that she will look back on a happy and useful and amazing life.

I hope to be around for many years to hug her and love her like only a mother can. But if I’m not, I want her to know what a gift she’s been to me. I’d like to tell her the stories I would have told while we lived our lives: Making dinner, shopping for school clothes and riding in the car between soccer games, ballet lessons and visiting colleges. I could tell her about what I was like as a child and a teenager, how I met her father, why I became a newspaper reporter and how I never put her down in her bassinet if I could carry her when she was a little baby. It will be a love letter to the greatest love of my life.

As I write this, it makes me think I’d like to write an article about the different ways people create posthumous messages to their kids. Contact me if you want to talk about how you’ve created messages for your kids, whether it’s in a video or an e-mail or in some other medium. My e-mail is jalterio@lohud.com and my number is 914-666-6189.

And here’s a big thank you for Randy Paush and his amazing example.