It’s not always bad when your teen doesn’t want to be seen with you
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- March
- 24
Last week I discovered how to stop my youngest son from being late to school. At least it’s worked so far. You can say my youngest son, a high school freshman, has a chronic lateness problem. He hadn’t been on time for school since October.
We talked to him about his lateness; The school sent home notes about his lateness; He lost the privilege of leaving school for lunch; And we took his electronic games, except for his computer. None of that made a difference.
Then last week, a school staffer suggested a solution that went to the heart of being a high school freshman – not wanting to be seen with your parents. The plan was diabolically simple: If he couldn’t be responsible and get to school on time, treat him like a second grader and bring him to school.
To make sure this scheme worked I upped the ante, saying I would accompany him all the way to his classroom, the better to be seen with him. The fact that we live only two blocks from the school made the plan easy to carry out.
The first morning, last Friday, I woke my son and reminded him that we’d walk to class together if he was late. I said I was looking forward to our walk: It would be like the old days when he was younger. He was not similarly nostalgic.
That day he was on time for class. So, too with the next two days. Tomorrow could be the fourth day in a row. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find parenting a to be a little like guerrilla warfare. You’re in it for the long haul, so you need strategy and much patience. Change usually doesn’t come quickly. This battle was different, however, and now it feels like cause for celebration. But I have two things to do. First, praise him for his promptness; Second, hope he doesn’t lose his embarassment over being seen with me.
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, March 24th, 2009 at 6:14 pm by Len Maniace.
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The second one is easy. Secretly carry his lunch. so when he isnt embarassed, then pull out the lunch and say “hey dont forget your lunch… and hand it to him.
FANTASTIC solution!!! Sure, sure, do praise him for being on time, but also do a little happy dance yourself for your successful parenting!
Does he read your blog? Would that undermine the effectiveness?
That was a great idea! Once he gets in the habit of being on time, it will be a lot easier.
That would be a fate worse than death for my kids… the only thing worse would be if I kissed him goodbye… but I like the lunch idea as well.
thanks for giving me a chuckle today. I don’t get to scan the blogs much anymore – today I’m glad I did!
@Patty—in this case, I doubt it. The effectiveness of this tactic is no secret: the kid doesn’t want his peers to see him being treated like a, well, a kid. As Len noted, the plan works unless the teen loses that “fear.”
Your point is something to keep in mind, however, for other possible situations.
My name is Shannon Telesco and I am a graduate student at UPenn. I am really sorry to post here, but I really need your help regarding a speculative bat bite—I found this site on a Google search and there was a thread about bat bites (http://parentsplace.lohudblogs.com/2007/05/10/help-with-strange-bite-marks/#comment-8103). I am really desperate to hear from anyone who has actually seen a known bat bite before.
I woke up on Saturday morning to find two small punctures on the top of my left thigh, but they were not (and still aren’t) painful/bleeding or itchy (now they are scabbing over). I searched the room and found no bats/conspicuous insects, etc. I have seen a couple of physicians at Penn who seemed to agree that it could have been a bug (although they have never seen a bite like this one) and unlikely that it is a bat since I haven’t actually observed one. The bite marks are 3 mm apart, and are not painful or itchy. Can I send the pictures to an email address or upload them to a website so that you can please take a look? I am really trying not to freak out.
On Tuesday evening (3 days after discovering the original 2 marks), I observed a 3rd mark (very similar to the first 2—no itching or pain) about 1.25” from the originals (on the same side, my upper left thigh). There is no way that I missed this mark the first time around, since both the dermatologist and I inspected the entire area carefully.
I live on the 3rd floor of a row home (relatively new, about 4 yrs old) in Philadelphia PA. The attic was searched thoroughly and no signs of bats could be found. I have also contacted the head of the Rabies program at CDC and a couple of bat experts who said that they do not look like bat bites, but I would really appreciate if someone who h as actually seen a bite (Cheryl, you mentioned a red circle with 2 little marks inside) could take a look at them. If you would rather contact me by email, my email address is shannone@seas.upenn.edu. It is now the 9th day since I discovered the bites, so I would really appreciate your help as soon as possible.
Thank you,
Shannon