Sure, I can be the “un-fun” auntie and get them clothes, but they’re 9 and 6! And Old Navy box probably won’t get the joint jumping. But with all the recalls, I don’t know what’s safe and what’s not, particularly when I’m buying online. I suppose I can consult some Web sites to find out which toys manufacturers are likely to use safe paints and parts, but I would bet that severely limit my choices.

My own kids, who are 13 and 9, are stuck on video games, clothes and a board game here and there, so I’m not as concerned. Plus, when I buy for them, I can look at the item, touch it, smell it and feel it, so I feel like I might make a better—and hopefully—safer choice. But when I’m buying online, I’m buying somewhat blindly.

What are you planning to buy for the children in your life? And have the many toy recalls affected your choices?

But one question that we should also keep in mind is: Does my way of getting things done mesh with how this group operates? I never thought of that, until recently, when I volunteered to help out with an event and the way that I like to work was miles off from the way the group worked.

As a working mom, my time is limited. That’s why I don’t have time for chatty meetings where “wishes” are expressed, but concrete details aren’t worked out. I’m more of a doer than a talker: Tell me what needs to be done, and I’ll do it. Want to discuss all the options for a few hours? Find someone else.

That’s what happened with this recent event. There wasn’t a lot of useful communication beforehand, and what resulted was a lot of unnecessary preparation, and in my case, some unnecessary spending. While I groused about it, I realized that part of this was my fault. I got into this without even thinking about the work style of the group. I just thought I would help out, in the way that I’m accustomed to doing things.

How do you handle your volunteer activities? Are they rewarding or frustrating? Or both?

But as rules around applying for and requiring a passport become more stringent, people who travel with children may want to take note of some of the basic protocols according to a pamphlet issued by Westchester County Clerk Tim Idoni:

• Don’t wait until the last minute to apply. Beginning in early 2008, passports will be needed to travel by land or sea from Canada, Mexico, Central and South America, the Caribbean and Bermuda. So if you need one, apply now.


• Be aware of special requirements for children under 14: All children, even newborns, must have their own passport. And children’s passports need to be renewed every five years. When applying for a chid’s passport, children must be there in person. If possible, both parents should appear together and sign the application for a child who is under 14. If only one parent appears, the parent must provide a notarized form proving consent from the other parent.


• When you apply for a passport, please be sure to bring the right documents: Proof of US Citizenship (previous passport, naturalization certificate, original or certified copy of your birth certificate, or a Consular Report of Birth Abroad), Proof of Identity (a valid driver’s license or government/military ID card) and the fees (typically $97 for an adult passport and $82 for children under 16). If you need a passport in a hurry, the application can be expedited for an additional $60. Cash, checks and credit cards can be used to pay the fees.

Good thing. Because now that I’ve discovered the Brain Age game, the Nintendo has become mine during the week and on weekends after he goes to bed.

I love this game! I bought it for myself, but encouraged my husband and kids to use it, but I’m the one who’s a regular.  It’s a good, quick and fun way to keep my 40-plus brain from atrophying, after so many years of watching inane cartoons and kid’s shows, playing with clay, making dioramas and watching football games that I don’t understand. Sure, my brain is taxed at work and at home, but not like this. Brain Age includes word puzzles, math equations, visual tests and Sodoku puzzles that help to keep you sharp. I don’t know whether or not it’s for real, but according to the little man in the game, after about three weeks of training, my brain age has gone from about 56 years old to about 23 years old. Anything that makes me feel younger works for me!

By the way, my boys—who have no patience for Brain Age but can play Kirby and Super Mario for hours—have brains of 80-year-olds. Or so the little man in the game says. 

Are there any of your kids’ toys that you’ve completely hijacked?

Brown came from very humble beginnings in Miami was adopted by a single mother along with his twin brother when they were six weeks old. His career has been diverse, including jobs as a radio DJ, community activist, county supervisor in California, and television show host. For many years, he has been a motivational speaker, addressing a variety of topics, including the power of positive parenting.

Thursday’s talk will be held at the Harlem Children’s Zone, 35 E. 125th St., in Manhattan. Doors open at 5 p.m and the program begins at 6 p.m. Seating is limited, so a response is suggested, but not mandatory. Call 917-532-5011 to RSVP or drop an email to info@proudpoppa.net. Admission is free and you’re asked to bring a young adult to hear the message.

The security guard was just doing his job, right? Perhaps. But what’s problematic was the question the guard asked the young lady: Whether or not she was menstruating. Yes, you read that right. Apparently, that’s the only reason why students at Tri-Valley High School are given a pass to have a bag with them during the day. Read it all for yourself here.

I can’t even begin to imagine how upset this girl was. I think if someone – and a man, no less – asked me that when I was 14, I would have fainted. And apparently, “The Question” is asked quite freqently. And it has upset so many students that girls – as well as boys, in support of their female friends – have taken to wearing tampons and sanitary napkins on their clothing in protest of this despicable question.

According to the news story, the school banned bags in the halls to prevent kids from being hurt by heavy bags and to avoid falls, as well as a concern about concealed weapons. Valid concerns, for sure.

But “The Question?” Hardly valid, I’d say. What do you think?

This is one of those places where you bring the party to them: We provided the pizza, cake, paper goods and they outfitted the kids with all the climbing equipment and aptly supervised the party.

When we were setting up for the party, the young man assisting us marveled at how my husband, my friend Adrianne and I worked together seamlessly to set the table, place the veggie and fruit platters for the parents, set up the drink station and hide the goody bags to be given out later. We remembered to bring matches, candles and a knife, which the young man found amazing. But it wasn’t a big deal to us, really. After the party, my husband and I estimated that in our 13 years as parents, we have probably prepared “birthday parties-to-go” more than 20 times, between our two sons. That includes taking cupcakes to school and parties held outside of our home.

We’ve run the gamut of parties, I think: We’ve done pool parties, bowling, pet the pony, spin art, movies, sports parties, ice-skating. They’ve all been fun, really. And the best part? When the party is done, we pack up our stuff (or toss the trash away) and leave! No muss, no fuss.

I’m sure there are many people who are fond of home parties for their kids, but it doesn’t work for me. Our house is too small to have a lot of fun and my patience for that kind of party is too short.

How do you celebrate your kids’ birthdays? Any new ideas out there for parties? Share them here!

Students can choose from 13 courses, including accounting, allied health, business and marketing, criminal justice, information technology, hospitality and culinary arts. The course is free and textbooks are included. Classes are held for 11 weeks beginning Saturday, Sept. 29 through Dec. 15. But you’ll have to rise early—the classes are held from 8:45 a.m. to 11:40 a.m. at Monroe’s campus at 434 Main St. in downtown New Rochelle.

To participate, students have to apply in advance, score a passing grade on a placement test and write a page-long personal essay, in addition to providing a high school transcript and other documents.

And what do students get out of this? A real introduction to college AND three college credits. That’s worth the early wake-up time on Saturday, right? (Well, at least parents might agree!)

The Open House takes place from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturday and the placement test will be offered then. For more information, call Lisa Scora-Contrino, assistant director for admissions at Monroe, at 914-740-6807.

This morning, after reading this story this story, I found myself talking aloud. To myself.

The case, briefly: Collette A. Barnes, who has a home day care businesses in Stamford, Conn. is free on bail, after being charged with a number of crimes, including leaving her 14-year-old daughter in charge of a whole bunch of kids, hosting a child care facility in a house in need of cleaning and serious repairs (not to mention the possibility of lead paint in the home), and bunch of other problems. It gets worse: Apparently Barnes left her day care business in another adult’s hands while she went to Florida to bring her father to NY for a visit. The adult backed out of the deal and then Barnes’ mother was supposed to take over. But when inspectors paid a surprise visit to the home, no adult was with the kids and the 14-year-old was in charge.

No doubt, this is bad. And if I had a kid there, I would probably take him out. Pronto. But a parent interviewed for the story, who leaves four children in Barnes’ care, says she has very few other options for care. At least care that she can afford and that will work with her fluctuating work schedule. She’s considering sending her kids to her mother in Florida if she can’t find care while Barnes’ business is shut down.

I empathized with this parent: She feels, despite all evidence to the contrary, this is good care for her kids. Barnes reads to the kids and helps them with potty training, she says. Those are good qualities, yes. But then Barnes leaves the state without a responsible adult in charge of her business? That’s unfathomable, in my view. Yet, when your options are limited, you overlook a lot of things.

Still, Barnes faces the possibility of going to jail for 48 years, if she’s found guilty of all the charges. Certainly, I thought to myself, she should never operated a day care facility again and should find another line of work. She made gross errors and poor judgment calls all around. And, as a police officer investigating the case said, she’s just very fortunate that this didn’t end disastrously. But 48 years in prison? I don’t know.

What do you think?

That’s because he is the one who picks up my youngest son at 7:30 a.m., which gives me glorious time alone in the house before I have to leave for work.

So what do I do with this extra time? I can now walk with my friend later in the morning, rather than at 6 a.m. I can take a shower that lasts more than 5 minutes. I can make real oatmeal and eat it—sitting down while reading a magazine. I can vacuum the living room, sort laundry, or iron clothes without having to brush my teeth at the same time. Basically, I can have a few moments to breathe before starting the busy-ness of my official workday.

When another mom (of one of my son’s classmates) called last night to check in and see how the first days of school were going, our conversation quickly turned to the earlier pick-up time. And then giddily, we both confessed to loving the extra morning time – alone. For a second, we chastised each other about how happy we are to push our sons out of the door each morning. But then, we remembered the bliss we feel, having our homes to ourselves, and any guilt was gone.

It is a most welcome time. And I love Lou, the bus driver, for giving it to me.

One of my sons (I won’t say which, to refrain from slightly embarrassing him) is a little preoccupied with getting injured. Although he’s all rough-and-tumble, plays sports and generally moves around quite a bit, he’s quite fearful of being hurt or sick. For a while, I fell right into his trap and responded to his every cry, cut, scrape or fall. Now, my husband and I know better and refrain from running to him every time he has a minor health concern.

“If a child sees a parent with a pronounced reaction to an injury or negative incident, they respond in kind,” Dallas pediatrician Dr. Chris Drieling says in the article. “They will get scared, and it will exacerbate the situation into something more than it really is. But if the parent can keep their reaction calm, the next time it happens the child will know that he will be OK.”

I particularly like Dr. Drieling’s advice for parents, which include “Don’t tell her not to cry or say, ‘Don’t be a baby.’ ” (I can’t stand when parents do this; and “Do stop for two seconds and assess the situation.”

That way of thinking makes sense to me. If I lose it when my son falls, he loses it. But if I’m calm, he’ll be much more likely to keep cool. Ultimately, I want my son to not be so anxious about injuries. I think I’ll take this tactic the next time he panics. Of course, if it’s a real injury, I’m all over it. But for the small stuff? I think I’ll skip sweating it.

What about you? Do you jump each time your kid falls? Do you think it’s the right thing to do?

Not because my 9-year-old is getting too much of it – that was last year’s rant. This year, he seems to be receiving a normal number of assignments, but he’s taking forever to complete them, it seems. It’s as if he thinks it’s good to be doing homework at 9 p.m., so he drags it out. Even though he pretty much understands the work and could do it a lot faster.

Last night, after he finally finished and went to bed, my husband and I discussed strategies to try to encourage him to move faster and complete tasks more diligently. (We have the same issue in the morning, when he moves like a slug to get ready for school. But we attribute that to his “Captain Midnight” personality – he’s a definite night owl.)

Our initial solutions: Tell him that if he finishes his homework in under 90 minutes for four days in a row, he gets to decide what we’ll all have for our family’s “special” Saturday breakfast. Or, if he finishes his work in a timely way, perhaps he can stay up a little longer on Friday night to watch more wrestling. (What is it with boys this age and wrestling? I just don’t get it).

Part of me realizes that it’s early in the school year, but I want to make sure he’s starting off on a good step. How do you handle homework tussles at your house? Share your thoughts here.

It sounds like a wonderful way to spend a week: He’ll visit Gettysburg, Jamestown, Williamsburg and all the sights in D.C. During the parent orientation yesterday, the facilitator said we all probably wished we were 13 again, so we could go too. And she was right -I think we were all ready to take a week off, be driven around and learn all about our country’s history.

Parents were all happy. All smiles. Some – especially parents of kids from the West Coast – were a little concerned about the 6 a.m. wake-up time for the kids, but basically we all nodded to each other, commenting on how fortunate our kids were to have such an experience.

But when started driving back to New York on I-95, it all hit me: I’m leaving my son, my biggest baby, with strangers. In Washington. And tomorrow is Sept. 11. I must be out of my mind. Suppose these people are insane? What if they’re part of a cult? What if they’re not as nice and wholesome as they seem? And that led me to think of many of my colleagues and friends, who have had to drop their kids off at college, and how traumatic it was for many of the parents. It made me REALLY glad to know that college is still 5 years away for me.

I’m not sure why this parting troubled me so. My son has gone to weeklong sleepaway camp, and has spent many evenings at friends’ sleepovers. But there was something so serious about this, that it made me think about how I’ll deal with him leaving for college. I supposed I still have five years to get ready for that.

Is parting with your child difficult? Do you find that it gets even more difficult as they get older? Am I just a wimp? Share your thoughts – And I can take the heat.

First off: Have you heard this story about the Ohio woman who tragically and mistakenly left her two-year-old in the car last month? The woman, Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby apparently won’t face charges for leaving her daughter strapped in her car’s child seat while she went to work as assistant principal at a middle school.

Apparently, the mom picked up doughnuts for her staff at the school and then drove to work, forgetting that her child was in the car. Horrible, awful, you say. And you’re right. But this was a definite mistake and none of us should be too quick to judge.

I have driven my son to my job, which is just about a half-mile from the child-care center he attended. I’m an attentive mom, a loving mom, a caring mom. Still, I recall a morning where I was deep in thought about something and drove directly to work, without stopping first at the child-care center. The difference between the Ohio mom and I? I happened to turn around and see and hear my son (who wasn’t sleeping) in his car seat, before I locked my car door for the day. The Ohio mom wasn’t as fortunate.

Still, there is plenty of criticism out there for the Ohio mom. Some folks say she was careless, clueless, even. But I don’t think so: I think she was human. And she made a tragic, tragic error.

Thankfully, the Clermont County prosecutor believes that she will punished enough with guilt and grief, so the mom won’t be charged in the death. That’s merciful on the prosecutor’s part, since the mom’s life will be horrific enough, without having to trudge through the whole ordeal in court.

What do you think about this? Have you ever forgotten your child in the car?

My older son has more champagne taste: Present him with a menu that offers baby lamb chops, lobster, tenderloin, scallops or squid, and he’ll order one of those meals. And he’ll actually eat it. And enjoy it. While he can also chow down on burgers and fries, when he’s in a “real” restaurant, it’s fancy food that he wants.

Apparently, according to a recent news story, he’s not alone: There are a lot of kids who actually enjoy eating upscale. And I’m lucky enough to have one of them. It’s basically OK with us, except on those occasions when we’re hoping to grab a quick, cheap meal, and our son wants Lobster Thermidor.

My son may have acquired his love of fine food from me: When I was a teenager, my friends and I formed a club called C’est Chic, and mostly, we visited fine restaurants in Manhattan. We did rollerskate every now and then (at former The Rink in New Rochelle, which is now the site of my church, New York Covenant, if you can believe that!), but mainly, we ate. Rather, we dined. Exquisitely.

Are your kids into fine dining? What do they enjoy most? And what restaurants are their favorites?