It’s not as if I need another book on my reading list, which is already backed up. But this one seems worth a look.

To hear him tell it, single dad blogger Trey Ellis had been plotting this out for a heck of a long time, even before he began writing in earnest three years ago. Initially, he simply sought to put together a memoir of his experiences as a single father. It kind of ended up being a little bit more than that.

“I was determined to capture the unvarnished truth,” he told me, “so I included events that evoke pity: my parents’ early deaths, my wife leaving me to raise our then three-year-old girl and eight-month-old boy, as well as revulsion: Internet porn and Brazilian hookers, as well as envy: beautiful French actresses, models, and an Italian countess.”

“As you will see in the book, the reason it took so long to finish was that I was living a life in search of an ending.”

Well, at least he seems to have found an ending for his book. Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood makes me envious because I wish I had thought of it first.

But most of all, Bedtime Stories has me curious and interested to pick it up when it hits the bookshelves. Trey, who’s one of the single parent bloggers I’ve tracked down and put on the blogroll here, seems poised for some success with this. He’s even gotten an endorsement from writer Naomi Wolf, who called it “moving, funny, down-to-earth, sexy and delightful.”

So, best of luck to Trey. It’s on the top of my list.

An uncle died last week after suffering a stroke during the summer. We attended the wake Thursday night and the funeral Friday morning. When I said we I mean me, my wife and our 17-year-old son. My 13-year-old son chose not to attend - even though in the past he has.

At the wake there were some children, one as young as four. And it got me thinking about how families with young children handle death. There seem to be two schools of thought on this – well at least two, because there is a vast middle ground. One holds that it’s good, and natural, for young children to participate in these mourning rituals for relatives or family friends. Others believe, though, that attendence may be too upsetting for young children and it’s best put off until they are older.

I suspect it all depends on the child. See what they think about going to the wake and saying some prayers for the deceased, or – if you are not religious – spending some time thinking and talking about the deceased. Then gauge his or her reaction.
As long as the child is not terribly frightened by the prospect of a wake or funeral service, I think there is much to be gained.

For one thing there are lessons there for children and adults about the importance and power of family bonds. As I sat in church Friday morning I watched my uncle’s grandson, a young man in his early 20s, read a passage from the Bible. He teared up and twice stopped in his reading. When finished, he walked back to his seat and his father, my cousin, put his hand around his shoulder, pulled him closer and kissed him on the forehead. It’s a moment I think I’ll remember.

After the wake I spoke to my youngest son and told him that some of his younger cousins were there. Maybe next time, I said, he will come along with us. My son’s immediate response may not have been realistic, but still it was somehow perfect: “I hope there is no next time.”