I’m sure we’re all familiar with the argument linking kids and steroids: Athletes take performance enhancing drugs, and kids become vulnerable because they either idolize and want to mimick their doping heroes or they’re young athletes who want to perform like the pros and follow the lead by “juicing.”

Well, tonight I heard former U.S. Sen. George Mitchell announce his long-awaited report on performance-enhancing drug use in major league baseball. The debate on this will go on for some time, and the report will be discredited by some, over-hyped by others.

But what hit me most about all this was the call I got in the midst of Mitchell’s press conference today. It was my son. He was watching at his mom’s house and couldn’t believe that some familiar names from his beloved Yankees were named.

Now, the rest of us will debate that list and the players on it for months and years to come. We’ll go on at the water cooler at work about Mitchell’s Boston ties and the high percentage of current and former New York players on this list—along with the lack of ties to the Red Sox. We’ll comment on how most of the players named were on the steroid radar anyway. We’ll speculate on the names that should be there but weren’t. We’ll even defend a player or two on the list, primarily if they play for our team.

But the bottom line is that a kid’s heart was broken today, and that just sucks.

As if the toy recall news in recent months wasn’t bad enough. This came over the newswire late yesterday and was published in today’s editions of The Journal News. Talk about frightening.

Toy Linked to ‘Date-Rape’ Drug Joins List of Recalls

By Oliver Staley and Ryan Flinn – Nov. 8 (Bloomberg News) — A Chinese-made toy containing a chemical linked to the so-called date-rape drug was recalled yesterday after two children fell ill. It is the latest in a series of warnings that has led to more than 21 million toys getting pulled from store shelves before the U.S. holiday shopping season.
Aqua Dots, which features small beads that bond with water, are made with a chemical the body converts to gamma-hydroxy butyrate, commonly known as the date-rape drug. Two children in the U.S. who swallowed the beads became comatose, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said in a statement.
The recall of the Aqua Dots, distributed by Toronto-based Spin Master Ltd., follows the withdrawal of millions of toys, vitamins and consumer products made in China over concerns about high-levels of lead and other chemicals. Consumer fears about harmful toys may affect holiday spending, with 35 percent of shoppers believing that products made outside the U.S. are not safe, according to a Nov. 1 study by Deloitte & Touche LLP.
Also today, Marvel Entertainment Inc. said it was voluntarily recalling 110,000 Curious George dolls after tests revealed lead levels that exceeded federal limits. On Nov. 6, Mattel Inc. asked consumers to stop using 196,000 kitchen toys made in Mexico because small pieces may pose a choking hazard to children.
Recalls for Lead
Mattel, the world’s largest toymaker, has issued several recalls this year, primarily because the products contained excessive lead paint or had loose magnets that might detach and be swallowed.
Spin Master said in a statement last night that more than 60 percent of the 4.2 million Aqua Dots units covered by the recall hadn’t reached consumers.
Aqua Dots contain 1,4-butanediol, an industrial solvent that the body converts to gamma-hydroxy butyrate, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s Web site.
The toys were produced by Melbourne-based Moose Enterprise Pty., Spin Master said.
The product, which is labeled Bindeez outside the U.S., sickened two Australian children as well, Melbourne’s Herald Sun newspaper reported Nov. 6.

Discovering your child is abusing alcohol or drugs has got to be one of the most frightening parenting experiences of all. It’s also one most of us are probably unprepared to face. To help parents figure out how to distinguish between normal teenage experiments and addiction — and to learn the best way to intervene when your child is at risk — I turned to an expert in helping young people recover their health and their lives.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with Adrienne Marcus, executive director of the Lexington Center for Recovery. The Lexington Center treats people — including teens and adolescents — with alcoholism and other drug dependencies. In Westchester, the Lexington Center has programs in Mount Kisco, New Rochelle, Yonkers, White Plains and Peekskill. Adrienne, a resident of Mount Kisco, is also the mom of Rachel, 20, and Emily, 13.

Q: In your experience, how surprised are parents when they learn that their child needs help with substance abuse? Why didn’t they know?

P: Most parents are in denial. They don’t want to know, or even admit, that their child has a substance-abuse problem. Although they may notice behavioral changes — like their child not coming home at night, school grades slipping or not meeting responsibilities — they don’t know to what to attribute that. But when parents are told by a professional that their child has a problem — when there’s a label put on it — they feel a sense of relief, because now they have something specific to address and help with.

Q: What symptoms of substance abuse should parents be on the lookout for?

P: When a child’s behavior changes drastically, that’s usually a sign that the child is abusing substances. Substance abuse is very evident if you know what to look for: Severe mood swings, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, lying, diminished interest in hobbies or friends, avoiding family and overreaction to criticism are just a few signs of a problem.

Q: How can you decipher the difference between teenage experiments and addiction?

P: There is a very clear difference between experimentation and addiction. Experimentation does not prompt severe behavioral changes like addiction does. If you notice those signs, and if you have to ask yourself if your child has a problem, he probably does.

Q: What’s the best way to intervene if you think your child is abusing drugs or alcohol? Where should you do it? What should you say?

P: There’s a very simple answer to this question: Ask yourself what you would do if your child had a debilitating physical disease. You’d do everything in your power to help, right? Addiction is also a disease, so you should seek out as much help and support as you can. Ask your clergy person, a school guidance counselor or your child’s physician to provide support, too. They are all professionals who can help you develop a plan for intervening. Both parents must be on the same page about their child’s problem so that they can address their child from a united front. Parents also need to look at their own behavior and addictions, because they’re models for their children. In talking to their kids, parents should address the issue in the same manner in which they would discuss anything else. They should use the same kind of language they normally use to communicate. The conversation should be kept open and comfortable so that the child does not feel as if he is under attack — rather, he should feel loved and nurtured, because an intervention is not an inherently comfortable situation.

Q: Can parents help children themselves, or should they look for a rehabilitation program? And, how do you choose a program?

P: I can’t reiterate enough that an addiction should be addressed like a physical disease — with all the help possible. Unfortunately, though, the first step should be to check your insurance policy to see what it will cover. I am also a firm believer that recovery comes with a loving circle of support, which is part of Lexington Center for Recovery’s mission statement. It is so important for parents and families to be involved. Therefore, I don’t believe that sending a child away to “take care of the situation” themselves is a healthy option. Outpatient programs, such as those we offer, begin with evaluations. The evaluation will determine what the core issues are, what the addict needs to work on and how the recovery counselors are going to help. If you don’t like the results of the evaluation, or if you don’t like a particular approach to that program’s recovery process, seek out the help of another program. In Westchester County, there are many options. You can begin your search at the Department of Community Mental Health.

Q: How can you develop a trusting relationship with your child in the context of substance abuse?

P: A trusting relationship has to be developed over time, but when confronting a child about his substance abuse, do it in a loving, caring manner. To prevent your child from feeling attacked in the case of a confrontation or discussion, make sure you express concern. Children don’t want to be patronized, so tell them that you expect them to get help and make suggestions on how they can. That will empower them, enable them to feel more comfortable knowing that they have parental support, and work to overcome their addiction.

Q: When did you start teaching your own children about avoiding drugs? What did you say and how did the language of that message change as they grew up?

P: My philosophy is to be honest about everything with my children, including the nature of my work. I started educating them at a young age about alcohol and substance abuse. My daughters practically grew up at Lexington Center for Recovery. They were always here, interacting with our clients and our counselors. They were exposed to the dangers of substance use and saw firsthand the damage it causes. Of course, they learned about it in school, as well, so the message was coming from a variety of different sources. That’s an important factor in educating children: Repetition. If they receive information from a variety of trusted sources, they are more likely to heed advice.

Q: What’s the one thing you wish parents would do to help their kids avoid ending up in a program like yours?

P: Parents really need to look at their own behavior. One of the hardest things for parents to understand is that their behavior is mimicked by their children. It might be one of the hardest things they’ll ever do, but if a parent has a drink at dinner every night with their child, they need to strongly consider how their child is going to view alcohol consumption. At the end of the day, it’s about behavior modeling.

Thank you very much to Adrienne for sharing her knowledge by doing a Q&P. If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom and pediatric dentist mom.

Pulled this off the wire. Talk about fueling the fears about my boy growing up. Or is this just alarmist?

WASHINGTON, DC — Eleven million high school students (80 percent) and five million middle school students (44 percent) attend drug-infested schools, meaning that they have personally witnessed illegal drug use, illegal drug dealing, illegal drug possession, students drunk and/or students high on the grounds of their school according to the “National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse XII: Teens and Parents,� the twelfth annual back-to-school survey conducted by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University.
For the first time, this year CASA sought to survey in depth the drug situation in America’s schools. The survey revealed that at least once a week on their school grounds, 31 percent of high school students (more than four million) and nine percent of middle school students (more than one million) see illegal drugs used, sold, students high and/or students drunk. At least weekly, 17 percent of all high and middle school students (4.4 million) personally see classmates high on drugs at school.
“This fall more than 16 million teens will return to middle and high schools where drug dealing, possession, use and students high on alcohol or drugs are part of the fabric of their school,� said Joseph A. Califano, Jr., CASA’s chairman and president and former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare. “Too many of our nation’s high and middle schools have become marijuana marts and pill palaces. Parents should wake up to this reality and realize more likely than not, your teen is going to school each day in a building where drug use, sale and possession is as much a part of the curriculum as math or English and do something about it. For many of our middle and high school students, school days have become school daze.�
The CASA survey also found that since 2002 the proportion of students who attend schools where drugs are used, kept or sold has jumped 39 percent forhigh school students and 63 percent for middle school students. From 2006 to 2007, the proportion jumped 20 percent for high school students and 35 percent for middle school students. Other numbers:

• Compared to teens at drug-free schools, teens at drug-infested schools are:

— 16 times likelier to use an illegal drug other than marijuana or prescription drugs;

— 15 times likelier to abuse prescription drugs;

— six times likelier to get drunk at least monthly;

— five times likelier to use marijuana;

— four times likelier to smoke cigarettes;

— four times likelier to be able to buy marijuana within a day; and

— nearly six times likelier to be able to buy marijuana within an hour.

I hurried home from work yesterday for a date with a 20-page questionnaire at my sons’ school. The quiz was put together by the New York University Child Study Center and was one of a series of surveys for parents who participated in a program called “Thriving Teens.”:http://www.aboutourkids.org/aboutus/programs/p_institute.html

I volunteered for the program five or six years ago. At the time we were facing behavior problems with both sons – something I attributed to my eldest’s frustration with dyslexia, some parental inconsistency in enforcing consequences, and my youngest son aping his big brother’s behavior.

At weekly sessions over a couple of months, we talked about communicating clearly with our children and doing it without dragging in our own fatigue and frustration. We critiqued film clips of bad parenting performances – some of which seemed uncomfortably familiar – and viewed clips of more constructive methods.

Also interesting were sessions to help kids cope with peer pressure to smoke, drink, and do drugs. It’s certainly not foolproof, but it seems to me that a kid who has a ready and convincing response is better prepared to deal with these unwanted invitations. It was a good, diverse group of parents and soon we were sharing eye-rolling misadventures of our children.

The periodic surveys are designed to learn whether the program actually works: whether it has any affect on parents’ and children’s behavior; and if it results in less cigarette, alcohol and drug use.

To keep parents honest on the multiple-choice questionnaire, one child from each family gets fill out the quiz, too. Now that’s one test booklet I would have loved to swipe.