So, last week I bought Pumpkin her first outfit of the spring: A darling sunflower dress with cute matching shoes and sweater at babyGap. My mom bought her the matching hat and purse. The price of all this cuteness? Let’s just say more than $100. Ah, but it’s her Easter outfit, you see. That’s how I can justify it. And because we aren’t seeing the whole family for Easter this year, I’ll be able to put her in it again a month and a half later for her birthday party. Such are my rationalizations. (And, in just three springs, it’s become a tradition to buy Pumpkin’s Easter dress at babyGap.)

I know I have spent too much on Pumpkin’s clothes in the past, at least by my husband’s and mom’s measures. But I think my sin has been more in the quantity than the quality. (Does a toddler really need 14 outfits?) I think babyGap and Gymboree offer pretty reasonable prices for very well-made clothes that hold up in the wash. And I always look for sales when possible.

At least I don’t shop at Boden! That’s what got me on this topic in the first place. I have the Boden catalog in my house, and, it must be said: The clothes are just wonderful. But wow: $28 for a T-shirt for a toddler? $30 for twill shorts? I confess I am tempted by the “Fun Applique Dress,” at right, which is nearly irresistible (and nearly affordable at $38). And, I really, really don’t shop at crewcuts, where a seersucker wrap skirt is $48 and a madras dress is $78!

What are your secret shopping indulgences when it comes to your kids? And is this something unique to parents of daughters — or do moms of sons also go nuts for cute outfits for their little ones?

Fall is here, and it’s time for new shoes. Even though she loves them and practically lived in them this summer, Pumpkin can’t wear her purple Crocs in the cold and wet. Instead of lugging Pumpkin to the mall, I decided to shop at home using handy sizing charts from our favorite brands. What’s nice about this option is you can go online, download and print the chart, measure your child and buy the shoes in a fraction of the time it takes to visit a store. What’s even better is you’ll get instant feedback about whether the size you need is in stock.

My first stop was Stride Rite to replace the sneakers I bought last spring with a larger size. I kept to the same style because it’s a simple white sneaker with modest pink trim. She can wear it with any color and it doesn’t clash. Another plus: The shoe is one of the least expensive in the store. When you get to the Stride Rite home page, just click on e-fit to find the chart for your child’s age and gender. It turns out one of Pumpkin’s feet measured a size 7 and the other a size 7 1/2. I ordered a size 8 to give her some growing room.

Then I went to Robeez. Pumpkin wears Robeez in the house in the cooler months when socks aren’t warm enough. They are soft and slip-proof and stay on snugly. Here is a link to their downloadable sizing chart. It turns out that she still fits in the 18-24 month size, so I was able to buy this adorable cat shoe.

I couldn’t help but visit Crocs to see what the company’s offerings are for winter. Here is a link to the Crocs sizing chart. I also printed out the Baby Gap sizing chart.

I have to admit that I didn’t buy any of the shoes from the company sites. Instead I went to Zappos, found the Stride Rite sneakers and Robeez and got free shipping. Please share your shoe-shopping tips. And if you try the downloadable charts, let us know how it works out for you!

Please take a moment to vote in our new poll, which asks what costume your child will wear for Halloween. I put in some likely choices, but I’d like to encourage you all to add your own answers. As far as Pumpkin goes, her two favorite things are kitty-cats and Elmo. So, I’ll have to pick one of those. (At least she’s years away from sexy pirate — which apparently is quite popular.)

I was on RNN-TV today talking about the trend of irreverent T-shirts for moms. You can watch the segment by clicking here. Here’s a link to my post on the topic, which contains lots of links to sites that sell the T’s.

Got Milk! Most of us know this as the advertising slogan for the kind of milk that comes from cows, so when I saw the message on a fellow mom’s T-shirt when Pumpkin was in the NICU, I laughed in delight. (And also in some envy since she was producing more than enough milk for both of her twins!) Since then, I’ve seen irreverent “mommy T-shirts” turn into a trend, which I’ve written about for Sunday’s paper.

Not to get too philosophical about fashion, but I think the rise of the mommy cool meme as expressed in the T-shirts says a lot about today’s generation of moms. That view was confirmed when I talked with Kristin Bennett, who is senior director of research and trends at the Intelligence Group. She explained that Gen Y and Gen X moms like myself are making an “extreme commitment” to parenting. These moms are relishing their roles and are happy to tell the world about it by wearing a T-shirt that advertises they are moms. And the T-shirts let them do it in a hip, ironic way that reminds people that they still have a strong sense of self-identity, too.

Kristin’s views were echoed by Liz Gumbinner, co-founder and editor of Cool Mom Picks. Liz, a mom of two who was raised in Larchmont and whose folks live in Cortlandt Manor, explained to me that parenthood isn’t just a phase of life anymore, it’s a culture. “And with any culture comes marketing,” she said.

Here’s where the T-shirts come in. A really nice part of the trend is that I haven’t seen big companies hopping on it — yet. Most of the T-shirt makers I’ve encountered are moms, some looking for a way to run a home-based business so they can be there for the kids. A good place to start your surfing is RoleMommy.com, which is run by Beth Feldman of New Rochelle. Her soft and fitted shirts are bedecked with glitter and rhinestones and feature sayings like “I don’t do cupcakes” and “I need a playdate.”

Another local T-shirt designer is Joy Rose of Hastings, a rocker who plays with the band Housewives on Prozac. She’s created shirts that say “Mom is not my real nameâ€? and “Women do not have an expiration date.” I also had a great time talking with Eileen Schneidman, a Wilton, Conn., stay-at-home mom of three and co-founder of Planet Mom T-shirts. (That’s Eileen at right.) The site has a wide array of embroidered T’s with funny sayings like “Whine? No. Wine? Yes.”

If you are more the crunchy-granola type mom, check out PeaceLoveMom, where you can pick up shirts with feel-good messages like “Happy mom” and “Lucky mom.” If you like a light touch is more your thing, Jestations has maternity shirts that boast “Dropping folic acid” and “Made with fresh eggs.” If you want to get political, Georgie Tees has a “Make babies, not war” T-shirt.

A popular site with celebrities, according to Danielle Friedland, publisher of the Celebrity Baby Blog, is Little Showoffs. Shoppers there include Gwyneth Paltrow (“Yoga mama”), Marcia Cross (“Mommy of Twins”) and Melissa Rivers (“Hottie mommy”). Another hot site with celeb moms is Logan & Blue, which makes custom embroidered shirts. Tori Spelling has a “Body after Liam” T-shirt that she wore on “Entertainment Tonight.” Another celeb favorite is the “Loving my Buddha belly” shirt from Preggers n’ Proud worn by actress Kate Hudson.

You also might like Mothers In Love with Fashion. (You can be forgiven if this brings to mind the racier translation of that acronym.) My favorite there was the “Daytime swinger” T-shirt with the image of a swing set. I also liked the “Supply” and “Demand” set for mom and baby from Milkdudz.

If you have a favorite place to buy “mommy T-shirts,” let us all know. And if you have one that you like, send me a picture of you wearing it and I’ll post it on the blog. Also, what do you think of this trend? And would you wear any of the shirts?

My colleague Stacy A. Anderson wrote an interesting story about parents searching consignment shops to find discounts on fashionable duds for their kids. She includes a roundup of local stores and gives examples of some of her finds. I was particularly struck by a pair of Mini Boden trousers for just $12 ($48 retail!). I’m definitely thinking about visiting a couple of the shops this fall before I head to the mall to buy Pumpkin’s cold-weather wardrobe.

If you have kids who love the outdoors — but need some prodding to apply sunscreen — check out my story about new strategies to avoid skin damage.

In my reporting, I learned that one of the most effective ways to protect your skin is to wear clothing with sun block built in. In Australia, where skin cancer is an even bigger health threat than here, clothing is more popular than sunscreen. Here in the United States, it’s just catching on. I became intrigued by the topic when I looked for a swimsuit for my daughter. I decided to buy one from L.L. Bean that covers up a good 75 percent of her body and features SPF 40 protection. Even so, and despite liberal and frequent applications of SPF 50 sunscreen on the exposed parts, Pumpkin finished last week’s vacation on the beach with tanned arms and legs. Her head, thankfully, was completely protected by a white hat with flaps that my sister-in-law bought from her dermatologist.

My story also talks about cute fish-shaped stickers from Huggies that sense how long you’ve been in the sun. When they change color, it’s time to apply more sunscreen. I brought them with us on vacation, but didn’t end up using them. I think they would be ideal for an older child who needs a gimmick to accept a second application of sunscreen.

I did take along Oregon Scientific’s Personal UV Monitor with Exposure Timer (pictured here at right). It is a pretty cool little gadget. I had to take some good-natured ribbing from my brother-in-law about using it. (“What’s the UV index, Julie?”) It seemed to work pretty well. On a cloudy day, it reported the UV index was low to medium. On a bright day, it was high. The only problem is that we weren’t that affected by these reports. After all, when you go on a week-long beach vacation, you tend to … go to the beach. And since I’m a sunscreen nut to begin with, I slathered us all up equally on the cloudy and sunny days.

The results from our poll on the topic found that most of you (82 percent) rely on sunscreen to protect your kids from the sun. Just two people said they use hats, long sleeves and other gear. Just one person admitted being a sun-worshipper who doesn’t worry about the topic.

Any thoughts? Have you invested in sun gear? What’s your sun-protection strategy?

When I was a kid, I don’t think my mother worried about how many hours I spent in the sun. By the time I was a teenager, I regularly used suntan-enhancing products — like baby oil! Today, we know better. There are probably few parents who have not given sun protection some thought — even if they ultimately decide the risks are overblown. Please check out our new poll that asks you to share your sun-protection strategy.

I’m also planning a story that explores new technologies and materials that are being developed to guard against sunburn — and the skin cancer it can ultimately cause.

I plan to take a look at the new play clothes that come with built-in sun protection, like this romper from One Step Ahead. I’ll also explore stick-on patches that measure exposure to the sun, like the Huggies Little Swimmers Sun Sensors. For the geek on the beach, there are also electronic UV monitors, like this one from Oregon Scientific that calculates your recommended exposure time based on the strength of the Sun’s rays, what SPF sunscreen you are wearing and your own personal skin type. Pretty neat.

Comment on this blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com if you would like to be part of the story.

And don’t forget to vote in the poll at right!

I just don’t get why Crocs are so popular. Explain, please.

How would you like a necklace with the names, initials, birthdates or birthstones of your children? Whether the idea thrills or appalls you might say a lot about your attitudes toward motherhood and feminism.

I’m bringing this up because there is a new trend that upsets the traditional role of personalized jewelry. Instead of wearing their own birthstones, initials or names, more and more moms are opting to wear jewelry that reflects their children. It’s become a stylish and hip thing to do, and designers are producing beautiful pieces of fine jewelry to drive and satisfy the demand. You can see an example of Heather Moore jewelry at right. I wrote a story about the trend, which you can read here. I’m raising the question in this blog because I wonder what everyone thinks of this development.

When I interviewed local moms who wear the jewelry, they told me it makes them feel closer to their children and honors the most important relationship in their lives. Lisa Marr of Larchmont, a stay-at-home mom who wears a necklace bearing the names of her four children, told me the charms are kind of like medals of honor. “No matter what you do, if you are home or working or working part time, it takes courage to have children. It’s a very tough job,” Lisa said.

Pam Sloan, a divorce lawyer form Pelham who wears charms with her children’s astrological signs and birthdates, said it triggers thoughts of her kids throughout the workday. She received it as a birthday gift from her husband. “People said, you turned 50, what did your husband get you, thinking in terms of diamonds and big gifts,” she told me. “There is nothing I could have enjoyed more than this very simple statement of the most important thing in my life.”

But when I asked Susan Douglas, author of “The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How it Has Undermined Women,” what she thought about the new jewelry trend, she said: “Pretty and awful at the same time.â€?

Susan, who is a professor at the University of Michigan and an expert in gender and society, said there is a growing perception in our culture that moms should devote themselves body and soul to their kids — at the expense of their own identities. She said we’re in the midst of a the new “momism” that’s a backlash against feminism. She’s unhappy that women are forgoing the historically self-affirming message of personalized jewelry. Think Laverne of “Laverne & Shirley” with the giant “L” on her sweater. Think Carrie of “Sex and the City” and her “Carrie” necklace.

I understand Susan’s point intellectually, but as a mom I can’t feel it.

I could say it’s because I became a mom in my late 30s and treasure every second, because that’s true. Or, I could say that it’s because my daughter was three months premature and we feared the worst when she was born, and that would be true, too. But I don’t think those are the primary reasons why my heart sings at the thought of wearing her initial and birthdate around my neck. I think it’s because I’m so in love with her that I want to celebrate the new, amazing and powerful feeling that’s so much bigger than my own ego.

Maybe the new mommy jewelry is something Carrie would wear five years later, after she and Mr. Big have babies.

What do you think?

Here’s the story of how Pampers dissed Elmo, made my baby cry and insulted my intelligence.

Our tale starts on the changing table, a place every parent of a toddler visits at least five times a day. These visits aren’t a picnic for either party, but for some reason it’s the baby who gets the most upset. A child can have a bum full of you-know-what, and still she will resist a diaper change. The answer to making this experience more pleasant is a mix of distraction and humor.

We parents use the tools we have at hand, and since diaper cream and wipes aren’t too entertaining, I turned to the happy cartoon faces on her diapers. Pampers licenses the “Sesame Street” characters and on the front is a rotating cast that includes Cookie Monster, Big Bird, etc. On the back — until recently — there was a picture of Elmo is all his red, cheerful glory.

A while back, I started a little game with Pumpkin: I’d show her the back of her Pampers and say, “Who’s this?” She soon learned to say, “Elmo.” It was amazingly effective. I’d tried other games in the past, but nothing calmed her down as much as the sight of Elmo, merrily smiling at her.

Then, a few weeks ago, I opened an 80-count box of Pampers Baby Dry and was putting them in the diaper holder when I noticed, “Hey! No Elmo!” There was still the character on the front, but the back was plain white. I thought to myself, “Huh, I wonder if this is a mistake?” I didn’t get mad until the change made my baby cry.

This happened last week when Pumpkin was suffering from her first-ever bout with a stomach virus. We were upstairs in her room and I was giving her tiny sips of water every 15 minutes to prevent a repeat episode of sickness. She kept asking for water over and over, and I kept trying to distract her. The only thing that entertained her was pulling her socks from the bin and other mischief that I don’t usually allow but tolerated while she was so miserable. Then, she started pulling the Pampers from their holder. One by one, she turned them over and said, “Elmo? Elmo? Elmo? Elmo?” She looked at me as if to say, “What happened to Elmo?”

I decided to call Pampers and get an answer to that question. On Friday, I called the toll-free customer service line and asked what was up with the missing Elmo. (I didn’t identify myself as a newspaper reporter, just as a concerned mom.) The customer service representative told me this was a new change. She said they try new features from time to time. I said, “This isn’t a new feature, this is removing a feature.” She said that was the feature.

Then, this week I called the media line and got through to baby care spokeswoman Lisa Jester at Pampers’ maker, Procter & Gamble in Cincinnati. I told her I am a newspaper reporter who planned to blog about her experience. First Jester said, “Elmo is still on the front, right?” Then she said, “We are always changing our design. We listen to customers.” I pointed out that the new design has a lot less printing overall and seems to be more about saving money on ink than pleasing customers. Jester said she would pass along my comments. “I’ll tell them Elmo has a fan,” she said with an intonation that was, how I can I put it? A little mocking.

Now, cutting out Elmo was undoubtedly a small change in the minds of the bean counters at Procter & Gamble, but it was a big deal here in the little purple bedroom at the top of the stairs in the Alterio home.

I went to the store recently and bought a package of Huggies. Let’s hope Winnie the Pooh has a better agent.

Last week, we published a story I did about how the third floor of The Westchester has become a magnet for parents who want to combine shopping at almost 20 kids stores with entertainment like story hour and exercise. Today, the daily Webcast features an interview I did with Tony Aiello of CBS News about the feature. You can check out my original blog post here.

I’d still like to know your opinions — is The Westchester the best place to shop for kids, or is there another destination you prefer?

We live in the northeast United States.

It gets cold here in the winter months.

So why, pray tell, won’t children – pardon, TEENAGERS – wear coats now?

This hasn’t directly affected me yet (my older son marks being a teenager next month and my youngest doesn’t give clothes much thought), but I’m told by friends and colleagues that wearing a coat has become completely anathema to a lot of teens. Even though my son will wear a coat without a prodding, he does enjoy wearing just a basketball jersey and shorts beneath it, usually right after game. But I think that’s more about wanting to bypass changing clothes than anything else.

At least this December, it’s been pretty warm. A friend told me her 12-year-old son hasn’t given up wearing shorts since school began in September. Wearing shorts make his legs feel “free,” he maintains. Who needs “free” legs when it’s freezing? Another friend says her son was actually upset that she bought him a new winter coat. Hey, I’m happy to accept a new coat. Camelhair, please.

This whole shunning the coat thing is a trend that I’m simply not understanding.

Can anyone explain it to me?

This summer, when I started thinking about taking Pumpkin to story hour, I checked events at local libraries. It never occurred to me to see what was up at the mall. But it turns out that some of the retailers at The Westchester, at least, are catering to moms who want to combine a trip to the mall with entertainment for their tots. Pottery Barn Kids (on Wednesdays) and babystyle (on Thursdays) have story times in the mornings. The mall’s operator, Simon Property Group, has a kids’ club that holds events like breakfast with Santa and a visit with the Care Bears. I learned about these events when I was reporting a story on how The Westchester is becoming a real magnet for parents, thanks mostly to a growing number of children’s stores.

I’ve been shopping at The Westchester since I moved to the county in 1995, just a few months after the mall opened. In the years before I had Pumpkin, I didn’t have too much call for visiting the kids’ stores except to buy gifts for my nieces and nephews. So when I made my first trip to the mall last summer after I had Pumpkin, it was a revelation to see more than a dozen children’s stores. Pottery Barn Kids and babystyle had just opened that spring. This year, another two kids’ stores, Lucky Kid and crewcuts, opened. The third-floor corridor just below the food court has one kids’ store after another. What’s interesting, too, is how many are unique stores, like Hanna Andersson, that you can’t find anywhere else in our area.

When I was at the mall to talk to parents for the story, it was jammed with strollers. (There was even a traffic jam at the entrance to Children’s Place.) Moms told me they like the mall because they can do a lot in one place. They also like the carpeting, which is friendly to toddlers just learning to walk. (One mom lets her toddler loose with her Fisher-Price walker.)

So far this holiday season, we haven’t been shopping in a mall. The key attraction for me as a parent is having stores all in one place so I can get Pumpkin in her stroller and go. The food court is also a plus. We have done “downtown” shopping in Katonah and Mount Kisco, which has the advantage of stroller-friendly sidewalks, but obviously far fewer stores.

What’s kind of neat about the crowds of parents (mostly moms) at The Westchester is that the ones I spoke with felt a certain camaraderie with each other. One mom, Kristen Riolo of Cross River, runs a program called Stroller Strides. The moms get together and exercise with their little ones before the mall opens. They mix socializing and then shopping a bit.

How about the rest of you? Do you make special trips to get to The Westchester for its kids’ stores? What do you think about stores hosting story events? What makes you decide where to shop with your children?

(By the way, I’ll be talking about this story in a Webcast on LoHud.com later this week.)

Is it just me or is $48 too much for sneakers for an 18-month-old? That was the “cheapest” pair at the Stride Rite in Mount Kisco, according to the sales clerk. Yes, I asked her to bring out the cheapest pair. But no, I don’t think I’m cheap when it comes to Pumpkin’s footwear. I just know that she would probably wear the sneakers maybe 10 times before she outgrows them. (Yes, she doesn’t get out that much.)

The reason we were out shopping for shoes was one that all parents can relate to: The shoes I bought this spring are getting tight. I asked my daughter’s pediatrician about shoes at her 18-month checkup, and she warned me not to let salespeople persuade me to buy the stiff, old-fashioned baby shoes we grew up with. Those memories do live on. In fact, my mother has been asking me if Pumpkin needs something more “supportive.” You see, when it comes to everyday footwear in the house, we opt for Robeez (pictured). In case you’re not familiar with this Canadian company, they make supersoft leather shoes with thin suede soles that let early walkers feel the floor beneath their feet. There are other companies with similar products, including Bobux. Target even has a version of its own. The folks at AskDrSears.com suggest buying leather shoes with a thin and flexible sole for beginning walkers. Robeez fits newborns to 4-year-olds.

We fell in love with Robeez when my husband’s college chums sent us a pair after Pumpkin was born. Besides being beyond cute, they stay on and seem comfortable. The price? $26 a pair. That seems reasonable to me, considering she wears these every day in the house in the cooler months. (This summer, we pretty much let her go barefoot inside.) On Friday, we bought her two pairs of Robeez for the winter, a brown-and-pink pair and a purple pair embellished with daisies.

Now that Pumpkin is participating in more excursions in the wider world, we felt she also needed a shoe that could handle pavement and wet surfaces. A sneaker seemed like a good bet. We ended up buying a pair of Oshkosh sneakers at Target for $12.99. I know I’m no expert in shoes, but they really don’t seem that different than the ones that were four times the price at Stride Rite. Am I missing something? Should I — or anyone else — be paying that much for kids’ shoes? If you have bought shoes at Stride Rite, or anywhere else that charges that much, do you feel you have something more for the money? I can see the point of buying more durable shoes once she goes off to preschool, but before then, it seems unnecessary to me.

(While we’re on the topic of shoes: My co-blogger Gayle had a great post in August about the battle to get her boys to wear “real shoes” as opposed to sneakers — along with some funny memories about the shoes her parents made her wear as a kid. It’s worth checking out if you missed it the first time around.)