I made an observation at the playground when my son was very young. Namely, parents seem to hover.

The problem with this is that it seems to me that kids aren’t allowed to learn a very basic life skill at the playground: Conflict resolution. If two kids have a beef at the monkey bars, there’s always a parent or two coming in to mediate or, more likely, to separate the kids and force them to play at opposite ends of the playground.

That’s kind of the type of thing that Lenore Skenazy has been talking about for a while now.

Skenazy is a Big Apple colunmist and blogger who made waves in 2007 by letting her then-9-year-old son take the subway and bus home on his own. She peddled the experience into a book, Free Range Kids, and a blog by the same title.

“Amid the cacophony of terrifying Amber Alerts and safety tips for every holiday,” Salon.com said in its review, “Skenazy is a chipper alternative, arguing that raising children in the United States now isn’t more dangerous than it was when today’s generation of parents were young. And back then, it was reasonably safe, too. So why does shooing the kids outside and telling them to have fun and be home by dark seem irresponsible to so many middle-class parents today?”

We’ve taken up similar issues here in the past. Admittedly, I’ve tended to err on the side of smothering my own son, relying more on that gene that says I should protect him. And, personally, I would not have let my 9-year-old ride the subway home alone.

But that’s just me, and I am likely very much guilty of the type of over-parenting Skenazy warns about.

Nonetheless, there is a lesson in it all, regardless of your personal feelings on it: Sometimes you do have to let the reins loose a bit.

Perhaps it is a matter of degrees. And I at least give myself credit for letting him work out his playground scuffles.

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When I lived in Larchmont, my bookshelves were in harmony. I lived just two blocks from the library and satisfied most of my reading needs through borrowing. Plus, we had a one-bedroom apartment — there just wasn’t room to accumulate books. But now, we have a house and live 10 miles from the town library. That combination has led to an unfortunate swelling of our book collection. We have built-in book cases on either side of the fireplace— all full. We have a large bookcase in my office — full. We even have an end table that’s designed to hold books. Add in other assorted smaller bookshelves that are all bulging and you get the idea.

The question I have is whether I should do a major thinning of my shelves? I did once before and pretty much culled out the chaff. Now, most of my books are ones I liked. A lot. Yesterday, as I was glancing at my shelves of fiction, I realized I probably won’t read many of the books again. But, I am reluctant to part with them for one reason: Pumpkin. I love the idea of her someday browsing the shelves and finding books that inspire her, educate her and thrill her— all on her parents’ bookshelves. I can imagine the conversations we might have. So, for now, I am thinking I’ll have to keep the books— but they are starting to really get out of control. Especially the piles next to my nightstand.

What about the rest of you moms and dads who are avid readers — or for that matter, audiophiles or movie fans? Do you thin your collections of books, CDs and DVDs? Or, are you holding these in trust, as it were, for the next generation to enjoy? And if you are holding onto them, what are your savvy solutions for stowing stuff so that you can live in your house without tripping over your portable media collections?

It’s not as if I need another book on my reading list, which is already backed up. But this one seems worth a look.

To hear him tell it, single dad blogger “Trey Ellis”:http://treyellis.com/blog had been plotting this out for a heck of a long time, even before he began writing in earnest three years ago. Initially, he simply sought to put together a memoir of his experiences as a single father. It kind of ended up being a little bit more than that.

“I was determined to capture the unvarnished truth,” he told me, “so I included events that evoke pity: my parents’ early deaths, my wife leaving me to raise our then three-year-old girl and eight-month-old boy, as well as revulsion: Internet porn and Brazilian hookers, as well as envy: beautiful French actresses, models, and an Italian countess.”

“As you will see in the book, the reason it took so long to finish was that I was living a life in search of an ending.”

Well, at least he seems to have found an ending for his book. “Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood”:http://treyellis.com/bedtimestories.htm makes me envious because I wish I had thought of it first.

But most of all, Bedtime Stories has me curious and interested to pick it up when it hits the bookshelves. Trey, who’s one of the single parent bloggers I’ve tracked down and put on the blogroll here, seems poised for some success with this. He’s even gotten an endorsement from writer Naomi Wolf, who called it “moving, funny, down-to-earth, sexy and delightful.”

So, best of luck to Trey. It’s on the top of my list.

Single-mom blogger and author “Rachel Sarah”:http://singlemomseeking.com/bio.html recently asked me about dating single moms, and particularly what’s appealing about them. Well, seeing as how I’m a divorced dad, my girlfriend is a single mom, and I dated a few single moms prior to meeting her and starting a blended family of our own, Rachel figured I might have some opinions.

Any one who knows me is well aware that I always have an opinion, which I will gladly voice at great length. So, true to form, I shared my thoughts with Rachel, which she has “posted on her blog”:http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2007/12/27/why-2008-will-be-the-hottest-for-single-moms this week. She included input from a couple of other single parents to put together an interesting, honest and intriguing posting on the subject.

Rachel, who writes from the West Coast, does an excellent job overall on her blog, and has “published a book”:http://www.amazon.com/Single-Mom-Seeking-Playdates-Dispatches/dp/1580051669 on her single-mom experiences. I hope you’ll all read her stuff, particularly the single parents out there. Never enough voices on this, and hers is worth hearing.

My son’s got it easy at school. At least that’s the way I see it, given that his classes don’t start until 9 a.m., and he’s out at 3 p.m. When I was a kid, I can’t recall starting school any later than 8:20 a.m., and that was seen as lenient. So what’s up?

I should note that my 10-year-old scores at the top of the class in all of the state tests he’s been required to take. And he devotes tons of his spare time to reading and games that incorporate mathematical and social studies skills. Fine. He’s studious.

But I find myself wanting more school time for him, something I think that there’s no real substitute for. It helps develop good study habits, improved listening skills, increased group-participation skills, and better social skills. True, he’s just in fifth grade now and his school day will get a tad longer as he gets into the later grades. That’s all well and good.

Still, something seems off. Take into account this “Boston Globe article,”:http://www.boston.com/news/education/k_12/mcas/articles/2007/11/30/longer_school_day_appears_to_boost_mcas_scores in which a handful of Boston public schools extended the school day and assigned more reading and studying to their students. The result was a significant increase in “MCAS”:http://www.doe.mass.edu/mcas/about1.html scores.

Doesn’t that all seem to make sense? Or is there a case to be made for less time in class? I’d love to hear it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that my son got so absorbed in J.K. Rowling’s book series about the boy wizard. It’s just that I want my son to read some of the classics as well.

Now, I love that he’s an avid reader, with a particular attraction to non-fiction and “fact books” like encyclopedias and atlases. He’s also read a number of childrens’ series, including Dan Gutman’s series of baseball biographies. When he was younger, he also read an abridged version of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain and enjoyed it.

But I think there’s great value for a child to read classic literature, and I’ve been nudging him and his mom for months to get him to try out some of those. Last week, he started to read Stephen Crane’s Red Badge of Courage, which I thought would tap into his interests in American history. Here’s the short follow-up list I put together for him:

• Call of the Wild by Jack London

• Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

• Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne

I figure that’s a short enough list, and I’m waiting to assess how he does with Crane. I’d also like to hear some other suggestions out there, particularly from parents who have older children. Let me know.

I was taken aback last year when, during back-to-school night at my son’s school, his fourth-grade teacher noted that students would not be taught cursive writing if they had not learned it in the earlier grades. There just isn’t time to teach it by the fourth grade, he said. For those that don’t know, cursive writing is what we commonly refer to as “script,” or what a friend from England told me this weekend is known as “joined” writing back home.

I’ve thought about that teacher’s comment ever since, and it came up in conversation over the weekend. It strikes me as sad that such a school policy — perhaps a natural consequence of the modern-day, state-test-driven public school system — might spell the demise of cursive writing. I was therefore not surprised to find that I wasn’t alone in that concern, and that there has been some debate over this in recent years, as expressed in “this article from The Washington Post”:http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/10/AR2006101001475.html last year.

Now, my son does write in cursive, and I frankly don’t know that any of his friends don’t. But it seems clear there are kids out there that still use block writing, and perhaps it is just a matter of time before the computer keyboard replaces all penmanship. I certainly hope not. Heck, our own Constitution and Declaration of Independence are written in cursive. Are we heading for a generation of children who won’t be able to read them?

It’s not like we don’t already have enough book choices as parents. But this one caught my eye when I read about it on the newswire this morning. It’s a new series of books for kids 3-8 years old put out by Christian Hainsworth, president of “Winning Kids Inc.”:http://www.winningkidsinc.com/index.htm in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. Hainsworth is a single dad, and sought to put together a series of books that help build positive skills in children — a heck of a helping hand for a single parent.

The 14-book series is titled “The Winning Kids with Traveling Bear”:http://www.winningkidsinc.com/TRAVELING%20BEAR.htm series. Now, keep in mind that I haven’t read these, so I’m just putting it out there for your review. I’m not one to peddle merchandise, and think parents have to trust their instincts on reading material and other things parental.

But it struck me as a positive sign that the series seems to acknowledge that many children are not in traditional, two-parent homes, while promoting skills that are positive for children in any familial setting.

Here’s the wire story on the series:

Traveling Bear and Friends to Journey Onto Your Book Shelves and Into Your Children’s Heart

New Children’s Book Series Building Strong Reading Skills and Positive Values

PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla., Oct. 9 PRNewswire — As a single parent, Christian Hainsworth came up empty as he searched for children’s books to read to his son that talked about leadership and self-confidence. That quest turned him into the creative force behind Winning Kids with Traveling Bear™, a 14-book series for children 3-8 years old that instills positive values and winning attitudes.

“I realized there was a lack of material for children in this area,” Hainsworth said. “I also wanted to enhance his reading abilities while providing enjoyment, which is very important.”

Winning Kids with Traveling Bear™ is a new and innovative children’s book series on the horizon. The series will be launched as a monthly book club consisting of 14 individual books with corresponding read-along audio CDs. It also comes with read-along audio/visual DVDs that can be played at home, in the car and anywhere in between. Each monthly book and CD will come with a letter from Traveling Bear in an exciting full color Traveling Bear Express envelope, and each book ends with a fun sing-along! “The audio CD is designed to build strong reading skills in a fun and easy way,” stated Christian J. Hainsworth, who conceived the series. (Each book is $19.90 including shipping and handling.)

The characters have been brought to life in huggable plush toys that can be ordered, as well as other exciting merchandise such as T-Bear back packs, baseball caps, coloring books and t-shirts.

For more information on this book series, please visit www.winningkidsinc.com. Coming soon, please visit the company’s storefront at www.travelingbear.com.

Before I became a mom, most of my book shopping  was done online. I would read a book review, make a note of the title and add it to my Amazon.com basket when I had a moment. Or, even better, when I lived just two blocks from the library in Larchmont, I ordered books using the Westchester County Library System’s excellent online tools. My strategies are changing now that I have Pumpkin to shop for, too.

I’m finding that it’s fun to browse in the children’s section and figure out which books are Pumpkin’s favorites by how long she lingers with each title. And because so much of the enjoyment of children’s books is in the illustrations, it’s helpful to see them (and in the case of tactile books, feel them) to judge.

So far, we’ve mostly patronized the Borders in Mount Kisco because it’s convenient, but I thrilled to learn about a new bookstore designed with kids in mind that just opened this past spring. My colleague, Barbara Livingston Nackman, writes a new Larchmont shop called The Voracious Reader, in her Book by Book blog. The store’s owner, Francine Lucidon, told Barbara that she wants the store to be a nurturing hub that will inspire a new generation of readers. We will definitely be checking it out! (Plus, it’s a great excuse to visit Larchmont, which I still miss after moving away four years ago. I’ll also use the trip as a chance to eat at Stanz Cafe on Chatsworth, which makes the most amazing sandwich with chicken salad, raisins and apples on sourdough baguette.)

What about you other moms and dads? Any favorite strategies for finding books for your kids?

Many kids are waiting for release of the seventh and final Harry Potter book on July 21, but the boy-wizard saga isn’t for all young readers. J.K. Rowling packs hundreds of pages between the covers of her books, a length that not every kid can handle.

Last summer my youngest son, then 11, discovered Avi, a Brooklyn native who has written dozens of books. His books are a less intimidating length, but at least as rich in imagination and insight.

The first we read together was The Fighting Ground, a Newberry Medal winner about a 13-year-old boy eager to battle the British in the American Revolution. The book covers the day he gets his chance and how he is changed by the experience. The paperback is 157 pages and might provide a good way for your kids to get inside the Independence Day holiday just passed.

Next was The Good Dog, a book we enjoyed even more. It’s a tale seen through the eyes of McKinley, a malamute and good dog, living in the mountains of Colorado, who must resolve the conflict between his loyalty to the human family he lives with and his desire to live wild in nature. McKinley and his fellow canines know a lot more about humans than their keepers know about them. The dogs refer to the people they live with as “their humans� and children as “human pups.� Newspapers are “staring papers� and televisions are “glow boxes.� Once finished with this 243-page paperback, your child might not look at his or her pet dog in quite the same way again.

We are nearly finished with a third Avi book, The Man Who was Poe, a fictional acount of a 12-year-old boy’s encounter with the famed author as the youngster tries to solve the mysterious disappearance of his mother and sister. The book is rich in detail about life in a mid-19th Century seaport, Providence, R.I. My son ranks this 200-page book highly, though I don’t think it’s quite up with “The Fighting Groundâ€? or “The Good Dog.â€?

Please tell us about your favorite books for middle school kids.