There’s not much parenting advice coming out of this entry, nor am I going to share any single-parenting experiences or share the lessons I’ve learned as a divorced dad with a 10-year-old. But hopefully this will make you laugh, as it did my son.

The two of us spend time on the Internet, and part of that has involved tons of time on “youtube.com,”:http://www.youtube.com particularly as I share music videos from my youth with my son, and as we both whittle away time playing online games. It is part of our bonding experience.

Recently, a colleague of mine at The Journal News returned from a vacation trip to Costa Rica, where he shared with us a video he shot. It’s probably one of the funniest things I’ve come across in a while, and my son and I had a great laugh over it when I showed it to him. My colleague has now been so good as to put it up on youtube.com, so I’ll share “the iguana video”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhxrrieAfNg with you all and hope it gets a chuckle out of your kids as well. Enjoy.

My kids’ health is fine, it’s our pet that’s got some issues.  I took our cat, Miko, home from the hospital last Tuesday and he’s doing OK now. But before I go into details, I first want to explain how our cat came to live with us. It might be instructive if you’re considering a pet for your kids.

Miko arrived as part of a deal for a house rental in Woodstock  seven years ago. In exchange for feeding the owner’s house cat and seeing that none of her kittens escaped to be eaten by bears or coyotes, we could take one home.

It seemed like a fair exchange.  Miko is a handsome cat and has never minded a little roughousing with the kids. However, we weren’t figuring on the cat’s urinary problem that required two hospitalizations costing us more than $4,000. And then there’s the special diet that’s supposed to prevent the problem from recurring. Neither did we figure on the cat’s other problem, which calls for a dose of mineral oil and powdered fiber laxative with each meal to stave off a different sort of ailment. Sometimes I think our cat is a 70 year-old man.

If your family is like mine, your kids will vow to care for the cute kitten or puppy every waking moment not devoted to homework. Of course, that won’t happen, but do we really want to confine our lives to reality?

Our kids went through periods when they not only forgot we had a cat but also the existance of the second bathroom that’s home to Miko’s litter box. Thankfully the amnesia usually wasn’t simultaneous. Eventually the kids settled into a routine where the 13-year-old feeds the cat during the week and the 17-year-old handles the job on weekends. 

My wife has a side job going where she feeds Miko a little dry cat food each morning in exchange for him waking her at 6:45 a.m.,  seven days a week. I guess he’s got her well trained because she then comes back to bed for more sleep.

As I said, we have a good division of labor. My job fits my work experience - I was a former medical writer and now sometimes write on health-policy isues for The Journal News/LoHud.Com. - so I supervise Miko’s health care.

All things considered, I wonder if can convince my oldest son, who is now looking at colleges, to consider a career in veterinary medicine.

You know the scenario: Cute child. Cute puppy/kitten/goldfish/hamster. Begging on the part of the child. Resistance, then capitulation, on the part of the parent. Child cleans up after pet for one week. Parent gets a new hobby. It happened to my sister-in-law, Susanne, who lives up near Albany with her family, which includes my obviously persuasive nephew. I found out this weekend how grateful a parent can be when a must-wanted pet finds its final reward.

“It finally died. Thank God.” That’s what my sister-in-law said to me on Saturday when I gave her a call to finalize our apple-picking plans for Sunday. She was talking about her son’s fish, and the relief in her voice was palpable. “None of us could stand the fish. It required constant cleaning,” Sue told me. The black guppy lived in its two-gallon tank for about a year — long after a young boy’s aquatic zeal diminished. “He lost interest when he realized it requires work,” she said. Sue estimates that she spent about a half hour once a week over the past year cleaning the tank. Add it up and it comes to 26 hours!

Even though the family’s feelings for the fish changed over the course of the year, no one was willing to do the unthinkable, though the topic was raised. “My son said, ‘Can we flush him down the toilet, and then he’ll be out in the open?’ I said, ‘No, we can’t. It would die, and that’s not nice.’” But then one day, their hopes were answered. “We came home and it was floating. We said, ‘Yeah!’ We’re all so happy. We came to hate the fish.”

Can we get a dog, please? I haven’t heard this yet, but it’s familiar to plenty of parents. That and promises from the child to take care of the dog, feed it, walk it and pick up the you-know-what. And plenty of parents are eager, too, to introduce a dog into the family home. Dogs are wonderful playmates and companions for many children, so kids and dogs seem to go together naturally. There are about 74 million dogs here in the United States — almost 45 percent of homes have at least one, according to a 2007 survey by the American Pet Product Manufacturers Association. But when is the best time for a parent to give in to those pleas? And what can you do to make sure the adoption goes smoothly? To seek an answer to these and other canine questions, I turned to an expert.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, Q&P for short, is with Yorktown resident Steve Diller, Westchester’s own “dog whisperer.” Steve runs the Center for Animal Behavior and Canine Training in Elmsford, where he trains thousands of dogs and their owners each year. He wrote the book, “Dogs and Their People: Choosing and Training the Best Dog for You.” He’s also the father of two. His 18-year-old daughter, Jessica, will start college at Hofstra University in September and his 16-year-old son, Gavin, will be starting his senior year at Lakeland High School. (In the picture below, Steve is with Jessica just after a performance of “Don Q.”)

Q: When is the right time for a family with children to adopt a dog?

P: While there is no set time to reflect on bringing in a family dog, there are a few criteria to keep in mind, such as the number of children in the home, their ages and gender as well as the breed and age of the potential dog being considered. Research has indicated that the best time to introduce a dog into a family is when the children are over 12 years of age. Younger children may have difficulty dealing with an energetic, mouthy puppy, which in turn makes life more complicated for the parents. Parents who are considering a dog when there are children under 8 should think about getting a breed that is sturdy enough to stand-up to the children’s energy but small enough not to knock them down during play. Safety factors also include having a well socialized and non-aggressive canine as part of the family; breed type is always secondary to good disposition. Parents who are thinking of bringing home a dog for their children must realize that despite the children chanting that they will fully care for the dog, the reality is that the parents will ultimately be responsible for feeding, walking, training and medical care. Older children can walk a dog that is not too powerful for them to handle and feeding responsibilities can also be shared.

Q: What advice do you have for parents choosing a dog? Are there certain breeds that are better than others? What about mixed breeds or designer hybrids?

P: My advice to parents is to research the various breeds of dogs by visiting web sites such as the American Kennel Club for purebred dogs or Petfinder for homeless dogs looking for their forever family. Parents often make mistakes by bringing their children into a puppy store or a shelter and allowing the children to choose the dog. The addition of a dog into a family is serious business. It is not a good idea to let kids think that dogs are disposable items to be disregarded if they get tired of the responsibility. Obtaining the right dog in the first place is extremely important for this and many other reasons. I find it easier to discuss which breed types are not inclined to do well with children versus which might be best. Dogs have been developed to behave in specific ways, we have dogs that are urged to swim and retrieve, breeds that guard people and property, breeds that seek out and destroy vermin, breeds that hunt and breeds produced for pure companionship. Guard breeds would not be my choice for families with children or couples planning on having children. Sporting breeds, while typically social and friendly, may be too energetic for small children. The hound group may have a few possibilities but each breed and individual dog has to be carefully examined for social ability as well as trainability. Breeds that were originally produced for the sport of dog fighting may still possess high fighting drives and would not be on my list of potential candidates. Dogs of mixed heritage can make amazing pets. Darwin felt that random selection produced the hardiest type. Mixed breed dogs are less likely to carry as much genetic disease as their refined purebred cousins. Simply looking at a mixed breed dog can’t help you define its heritage. Often times a mixed breed dog looks like a diluted form of a purebred but in actuality have no genetic link to the look-a-like at all.

Q: When it comes to families with children, is it better to adopt a puppy or an adult dog?

P: The real answer to this question is about both nature and nurture. A puppy’s ability to be effectively socialized can only be done up till 18 weeks of age. Developmentally, the neural pathways for social behavior close at 18 weeks of age. Dogs are social beings that do not generalize information well so this means that a puppy should be exposed to infants, toddlers, teenagers, both genders and all colors to be considered well socialized. In terms of nurture, this effort must be done in the first 18 weeks of a puppy’s life. I’ll bet many parents were not thinking about this type of enormous and time-consuming task. In terms of nature, pups with strong nerve thresholds seem to be capable of dealing with stress despite a lack of appropriate social exposure. Puppies that may have threshold issues are noise sensitive and/or touch sensitive and seem shy or fearful without ever being traumatized. When a puppy is being considered, the optimum age to leave its mother and littermates is 8 weeks of age. If an adult dog is being considered, it is ideal if the dog was well socialized with children in its last home, although I have seen stray dogs that become their adoptive family’s “Lassie.” I wish there were a simple answer here, but at the end of the day, a dog that behaves well around children is a keeper. Dogs that can’t tolerate children may be terrific dogs in strictly adult homes. The magic is in finding that perfect match.

Q: What education do children need about living with a dog?

P: Depending on the age of the children, lessons should include teaching kids that dogs like their own space. Many dogs dislike being constantly lifted and hugged as their legs dangle around. It has been an observation of mine that young children just lunge at their puppies and grab at them as if they were objects. Puppies respond by biting, as they would if assaulted by a littermate. That’s when we have a crying child and a confused pooch. Teaching children to respect animals is a wonderful — and difficult job. Including children in the training and feeding schedule is helpful. Quiet time is also healthy for both humans and dogs.

Q: What kind of training do you do with children and dogs?

P: I train parents who in turn teach their children. I enjoy having children attend my group obedience classes with their parents. I believe that it’s helpful to have the children involved with the dog-training process. Even young children take something away from attending. As long as one parent monitors the children as the other works with the puppy, it tends to work well. Supervision is the key to success with kids and dogs.

Q: What advice do you have to help children avoid being bitten by a dog?

P: Children should never just approach a dog. Dogs that are being held on a leash by an owner can be brought up to a child who wants to make contact. Allowing the dog to approach and smell the child makes it easier on the dog. Hands remain relaxed at your side until it is clear that the dog is comfortable. Always ask an owner if the dog is social and friendly before allowing the dog to get close to the child. Avoid dogs that appear wild and frenetic. After the initial contact, it is always nice when the dog can sit quietly while being stroked. After the contact, it’s best if the dog walks away from the child first. Just good etiquette in the dog world.

Q: Do you have a dog? What you did you do to help your children establish a positive relationship with it?

P: We have several dogs at home. My children were born into a home with dogs, and, in fact, so was I. My parents had a Boxer before I was born so I was the second child, in a manner of speaking. We had a German Shepherd and a Labrador when Jessica and Gavin were born. Seems like they took to living with dogs as second nature, we only ever saw the love between them. Currently, each of my kids share their beds with Cavalier King Charles Spaniels named Elliot and Grace. Napoleon, son of Grace, also shares our space and we are all cared for by Bart, our German Shepherd. In my opinion, when children grow up in the presence of dogs, it adds to their humanitarianism as adults.

Thank you very much to Steve for sharing his knowledge by doing a Q&P! I know this will be information I’ll save for the inevitable day when Pumpkin starts asking for a pooch. (As I’ve said before in the blog, she sure loves dogs.) Check back next week for another Q&P. If you know any parents who you think would be great to feature, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features with a financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, environmentalist mom, pediatric dentist mom and a couple of parents who are bicycle experts.