It starts before our kids are born when we limit our tuna fish sandwiches to one a week and doesn’t end until … ever, I think. Keeping our children safe is job No. 1 for mom and dad. Yes, we’re supposed to teach them to read, sing, love animals and all the rest, but the most important gift we give our children is a healthy and safe childhood. In today’s world, where there seem to be weekly blasts on the news about lead in imported toys, parents can feel powerless to prevent risks to their kids — and that’s even before they get a driver’s license!

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with Irvington resident Jamie Schaefer-Wilson. Jamie is a child safety expert, author and consultant at Consumer Reports magazine in Yonkers. She has a long history of advocating in a wide variety of ways to keep kids safe. She co-wrote “The Baby Rules: The Insider’s Guide to Raising Your Parents,” a safety manual for parents with a humorous touch. She serves on several juvenile products committees for the American Society of Testing and Materials (ASTM International), where she advocates for safer juvenile product standards. She works with the nonprofit Kids and Cars, which is pushing for a rear visibility performance standard to prevent backovers. She has contributed to a safety column on iVillage.com and is the author of “Safety 1st’s Essential Home & Travel Childproofing Guide.” She’s also written the upcoming “The Consumer Reports Guide to Childproofing & Safety: Tips to Protect your Baby and Child from Injury at Home and on the Go,” scheduled for publication in May. In between being a safety guru, Jamie is also busy as the mother of Cydney and Samantha.

Q: Let’s start with the question on everyone’s mind these days: Can I safely buy my child a toy that’s made in China?

P: It isn’t necessarily a China problem, it is a manufacturer problem. We need better quality control, tougher import inspections and more attention to potential design flaws. Some of these problems are predictable, therefore they are preventable. There have been so many problems brought to the forefront lately from lead paint to small parts detaching and magnets falling out of toys. While we should be able to trust the toys in the marketplace, I think we all need to be tougher consumers and decide if we want to stay away from painted toys, jewelry and magnets.

Q: When the first Mattel recall was announced on Aug. 1, you feared that your child had a defective Elmo toy. Can you describe what that experience was like?

P: It was scary. It was a toy my daughter was playing with every day. It has a microphone that naturally she was always putting in her mouth and we didn’t know which portion of the toy contained the lead-based paint. I recognized the photo of the toy instantly and this particular toy was shown on several news reports. I checked the model number and was relieved that mine was purchased before the batch that had lead-based paint.

Q: Is all this focus on toys from China potentially distracting our attention from more dangerous, or even deadly, hazards?

P: No. I think people are looking more stringently at many more products now. We need to continue down this path and do a lot more questioning about all products — no matter where they are made.

Q: What are some of the hidden hazards we all have around our homes that we don’t think about?

P: We sometimes tend to overlook everyday items and things we do everyday. Take the kitchen. It is the room we are in most frequently. There are several dangers from the hot oven, water boiling on the stove or even the dishwasher. The dishwasher seems benign once the knives and forks are removed, but it is filled with spikes and if a child falls they will fall face first. Also, tipping hazards: Children tend to open several drawers at one time, sometimes causing furniture to tip onto them. It is very simple to install a tip resistant strap to furniture, and this should be installed to TV stands as well as book cases, armoires and dressers. Another danger is water hazards. Drownings are a leading cause of death every year. When your child is in the bath you need to keep him or her within arm’s reach at all times. It only takes a second for something to go wrong. The same is true of a swimming pool. Many children often slip outside unnoticed and you may not hear them fall into the pool.

Q: What are some safety tips you can share based on your own family?

P: Gates and safety locks: Those are two very important items that you should purchase and use. My 2-year-old wants to follow me everywhere and open every drawer. I feel I need eyes in the back of my head. My first daughter wasn’t as daring, but my second daughter wants to experiment with everything. I find it easier to remove and safeguard the hazards rather than take a chance. You can remove gates and locks when they are older, but the scar from an injury will be permanent.

Q: Can you tell me about any close calls you might have had?

P: When my 6-year-old was younger, we were at a restaurant and they had given us a folding high chair. The waiter opened it and we put our daughter inside, but it started to collapse the moment we placed her in the high chair. My daughter was screaming. I tried grabbing her, but she was stuck. My husband and I were pulling her and the waiter was trying to open the chair. It was very scary. Needless to say, I always check that high chairs are fully opened and locked and I now know never to take for granted that someone else may have done taken these measures.

Q: New moms often buy books on babyproofing, but what about parents of older kids? What safety worries are out there when your child reaches grade school, middle school and beyond?

P: Safety issues just change and expand as your child gets older. Child passenger safety is always at the forefront. Keeping your child in the right child-restraint seat until he or she is the right height, weight and age is one of the most important things you can do for your child. As they get older you need to focus on bicycle safety/helmet safety and stranger danger as well.

Q: What can you do if a fellow parent doesn’t take safety as seriously as you do? What if, for example, a mom doesn’t think about buckling a child into a safety seat because it’s “only a few blocks” or is casual about other risks?

P: I have had parents tell me just that: “Oh, it’s only a few blocks.â€? Most vehicle crashes happen within a few blocks of our homes since it is where we spend the most time. Some parents don’t like to hear the possibilities of what could happen and others ask a lot of questions. Questions are a great — they can save a life. If another mother offers to pick up my daughter, I always ask what type of car seat she has, and many times I end up installing my seat in her vehicle. I am happy to take the few minutes and do it.

Q: It seems to me the best way to keep a child safe might be to instill a sense of caution in the child. What advice do you have for doing that without turning your kid into a nervous nelly?

P: Caution is good, but you’re right, you don’t want to overdo it. So much of this is in your hands. Your child doesn’t need to know everything about the car seat they are in — just that they need to be in it. I often hear that a child can’t wait to get to a booster seat or get out of one. Most children wouldn’t even know that there is a day that they won’t need the booster seat — we instill this in them. You handle the safety and let them be a kid. You’ll feel more at ease about it. Every mom only wants what is best for her children.

Thank you very much to Jamie for sharing her knowledge by doing a Q&P! If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, drug counselor mom and pediatric dentist mom.

Remember how easy it was to choose food for the baby during the first year? It was breast milk or formula and then rice cereal, strained peaches and Cheerios. As the options expand with each year, so do the challenges of creating menus that satisfy taste buds and nourish bodies. To get some expert advice on feeding everyone from picky toddlers to recalcitrant teens, I turned to a mom who is a professional food coach.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with Pleasantville resident Hillary Marra, who has a consulting business called My Family Food Coach. She also is the co-founder of The Edible Garden at Bedford Road School in Pleasantville, where schoolchildren are growing, harvesting and eating their crops. She’s also a mom of three children, ages 16, 13 and 9.

Q: When you meet with your clients for the first time, what are you hearing about their eating habits?

P: The first thing I hear is how busy families are with parents working, volunteering and driving their kids to different activities. Behind that is a cry for help. There’s no extended family to pick up the task of making dinner. There’s also an underlying fear of failing with family food, since there are so many emotions intertwined. As uncomfortable as it is for 5 o’clock to roll around and you don’t know what you’re making for dinner, it’s familiar. It’s scarier for many people to set the menu on Sunday night and say, “Tomorrow we’re going to have chicken and rice.” When people come to me, they are worried about getting their kids to eat a healthy dinner, but I help them understand that dinner is just one of the meals of the day. Getting kids to eat healthy for life is a bigger investment.

Q: Why is this seemingly simple and timeless task — feeding ourselves and our kids — so complicated?

P: Parents lead busy lives, and the essential task of providing family meals is never-ending. This is not easy for everyone. Some parents need help planning, some with cooking, some with sidestepping the power struggles. Also, there is a fine line between giving too many choices and being too controlling with our family food. There are so many emotions involved with food. It can be stressful, and kids know when they can push the food button. It is our reaction to our children’s behavior we sometimes need to change. When our kids see their food behavior doesn’t get a rise out of us, they change their own food behavior. So the ultimate power within our reach is changing our response to their behavior instead of trying to change our children.

Q: What benefits have you seen when a family changes its eating habits — beyond perhaps losing a few pounds? Any interesting stories?

P: People come to me to get their kids to eat healthier, but what happens along the way is they stop fighting about food. They begin to have a closer relationship with their child because they are no longer waging daily battles with them over what they will eat. I remember being at the home of one mom and when she heard the sound of her daughter getting a snack, she called out, “Why are you opening the fridge?” I asked her if she would do the same thing if her daughter was slender, and she said, “Probably not.” The daughter was beautiful, she was curvy. Imagine if the only limited interaction between a teenage daughter and her mom is telling her to close the fridge? It distances her from her mother. It starts with these negative feelings and this lack of closeness. As parents, when we give up trying to be right and recognize we want our kids to eat healthy because we love them, we are then able to see the little things we can do on our end. Instead of trying to change our kids’ behavior, whether by bribery or by force, we can bring pleasure into the picture with simple daily efforts that work. When you stop the family food fight, relationships between parent and child deepen. If you are a mom whose daughter throws away the healthy lunch you pack, start a dialogue with your child. The conversation can begin by asking your daughters what they want to eat, how much, how often and how to balance this with other foods. Forbidden foods become less desirable when we are taught how to enjoy them in moderation. Trust me, I know. I am in this field of food coaching because I struggled as a teen, not knowing what to eat. I have kept 20 pounds off for 20 years when I stopped dieting and learned to eat healthy and enjoy all foods. Food conversations with our children can diffuse power struggles.

Q: How can we as parents get our kids interested in healthy food?

P: It’s important to welcome children into the kitchen by taking them to buy a cookbook or cooking utensils. It speaks volumes to buy fun trays and kitchen tools for kids — there’s an unspoken, “You belong, welcomeâ€? message. Most children, if welcomed into the kitchen, want to create and play with food. Many times people put gates at the kitchen door to keep their young children out. I ask clients, “How and when will you let them in?” If you increase their food experiences as toddlers, you’ll tap into their natural curiosity. When kids cook, they proudly own their food and want to eat it and it’s no longer about “good” food versus “bad” food. When kids grow their own food, they are also so invested in it. I co-founded The Edible Garden at Bedford Road School in Pleasantville with Andrea Garbarini so all 700 kindergarten through fourth graders would connect to and enjoy their fresh, healthy, curriculum-related crops in a hands-on way. When kids grow it, they want to eat radishes on baguettes with cream cheese, broccoli with dip and salad tacos and wraps. Sometimes it’s as easy as getting kids in the kitchen cooking, shopping together at the farmer’s market and having aesthetically pleasing fresh fruits and vegetables available when they’re hungry. Having their friends over for dinner is fun and effective. Creating basic, enjoyable rituals with fresh food goes a long way. Getting our kids to eat healthy can start by simply saying less. When they taste new foods, resist the temptation to make a big deal about their liking the foods, and instead praise them for being good at trying new foods.

Q: What are some basic strategies all parents can try to get their households eating healthier?

P: Simple things parents can do and feel good about is having cut up fruits and vegetables with dip at eye level in the fridge ready when kids are hungry at 5 p.m. Change the word “dinner� to “food time� and our shoulders will go down a notch. Five o’clock comes every day and with a simple plan, we can enjoy rather than dread this part of the evening. The 5 o’clock plan helps keep kids from reaching for packaged snacks or melting down because they’re hungry while we’re trying to hang on to pulling off the perfect home-cooked meal called dinner. Put the fruit, veggies, and dip on the table and say food time will be soon. These simple new strategies we take on are more effective than trying to change our child. Another thing parents can do is to know what nights they absolutely can’t cook because they get home too late. Opt for some healthy takeout like Greek salad with soup, hummus and pita or anything grilled or sautéed rather than deep fried. I teach simple recipes and what to have on hand in the house. Any of these ideas implemented slowly and consistently, equals success. Sometimes we try to change too much all at once. One change a month equals 12 a year, and that’s something to feel great about!

Q: How much of this is mental? That is, if you make excuses about being busy, you give yourself and your family permission to order pizza yet again?

P: You’re right, so much is mental. It’s hard for some parents to figure out food on their own. I, too, would order pizza again if I didn’t have other strategies in place or food in the house. When eating right becomes easy, enthusiasm enters the picture. When we enjoy good-tasting food without fighting and everyone eats something, not only is the dread of family meals removed, we also have more time and energy to focus on other things we enjoy. Much of this happens with a plan in place, for example, knowing in advance what day of the week will be planned pizza, rather than thinking all day about what’s for dinner. Rather than play short-order cook, it’s helpful to serve parts of the meal where everyone likes something. An example of this is to make turkey tacos for the two children who like it, while making a turkey burger for the third child who doesn’t.

Q: What’s a typical weekday dinner for you?

P: On a planned pizza day we’ll order pizza plain or with vegetable toppings, sautéed broccoli on the side and lentil soup from a local pizzeria. People love hearing that my kids eat frozen food or take-out on busy days. On days I can cook, we’ll have turkey burgers or tacos, chicken fajitas, grilled salmon, or baked chicken parmesan with pasta and broccoli. I look to rev foods up a notch to make them more healthful by baking instead of frying and, when ordering take-out, add healthful foods, like the soup and broccoli, with the pizza order.

Q: Any favorite recipe you’d like to share that kids are guaranteed to love?

P: Most kids like quesadillas, my revving it up version takes three ingredients and five minutes, and it’s a delicious, healthy dish high in protein and fiber!

Hillary’s quesadillas

Ingredients: whole wheat or white flour tortillas, organic low-fat shredded mozzarella or other type of cheese, 1 can of black beans, drained.

Place one tortilla in skillet without adding any butter or oil.
Sprinkle shredded cheese to cover surface of tortilla.
Place a thin layer of drained beans on top of cheese.
Top with second tortilla.
Cook on low flame several minutes, flipping until each side of quesadilla is lightly browned and cheese is melted.
Cut into pieces and serve.

Q: What are your children’s favorite foods?

P: Some of my three kids’ favorite foods are chocolate, sugar and hot dogs. Don’t think I’m kidding! We have balance because the one who loves chocolate also loves salads and whole grains; the one who loves sugar loves beans, cooked broccoli and raw carrots; and the one who loves hot dogs loves soup and cooked vegetables. They all love fruit. I emphasize cooked versus raw vegetables because one way of sidestepping a power struggle is feeding vegetables to your child the way they like them. Having the child who doesn’t like raw vegetables make the salad dressing and proudly tossing the salad goes farther than force in getting them to taste it. When they do taste it, we succeed if we praise their trying something new, not whether or not they like it. We just have to remember not to comment too much. I encourage parents to stay away from force and bribery, which can backfire. I have worked with adult clients who don’t eat certain foods because they were forced to as kids.

Q: What do you always have on hand for snacks?

P: I always have salsa and tortilla chips and pretzels in the house as well as fruit, baby carrots, broccoli, yogurt, antibiotic-free turkey and organic cheese. I do excel at having a plan and having a beautiful fruit platter or veggies and dip at eye-level in the fridge at 5 p.m. for the kids to grab when they’re starving. Talking less about food and acting with a plan works.

Q: What’s your strategy for balancing healthy eating with the allure of snack foods that your kids undoubtedly encounter in friends’ houses and at the grocery store?

P: I like to have ingredients on hand in case we feel like making things on a whim like apple crisp, banana or pumpkin bread or oatmeal raisin cookies. This one hour of baking teaches kids the skills they need to feel comfortable in the kitchen for life and feeds them homemade goodies that crowd out the store bought ones. Kids’ taste buds do develop. If they are raised on processed foods, that’s what they will prefer. When the kids go to friends’ houses, it’s more important to bond with the friends than judge the food. There are five meals a day, and healthy eating is something that happens over time rather than making every meal perfect. They need to learn how to eat the other stuff in moderation. My approach is realistic and not rigid. For example, one day my son and I went to Friendly’s and he saw a picture of a humungous burger with the works. I took a step back and said I could be a food warden or I could understand this is only one meal. I choose to ease up and bond with my kid. I said, “Listen to your body and have as much as you want, but stop eating when you’re full.” Then the waitress came over and said, “You get two free scoops of ice cream with your meal,” I could have keeled over. I said we would get it to go, hoping it would melt in the car or I could put it in the freezer at home to save it for another time.

Q: How do you help a child focus on eating right and yet at the same time not over-emphasize food to the point where he or she starts to question themselves and get obsessed with weight or dieting?

P: I’ve kept 20 pounds off for 20 years when I stopped dieting and learned to eat healthy. The depriving approach makes forbidden foods more desirable. Being a role model, especially for mothers, is a huge opportunity. Instead of controlling our children with food, we can show that we can eat sitting and when hungry rather than when stressed or for other reasons. We can let our daughters hear us proudly ask for jeans for curvy shapes if that is our body type. We can show them we feel good about ourselves with food and then go forth to live our best lives. When our food is in order we are free to enjoy everything else life has to offer.

Thank you very much to Hillary for sharing her knowledge by doing a Q&P! If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, drug counselor mom and pediatric dentist mom.

My daughter has lived to the age of 2 without seeing a single television commercial. I know these innocent days are numbered. Her only TV viewing now consists of “Sesame Street” episodes we record on our TiVo, and that usually involves fast-forwarding to the Elmo’s World segment. But once she starts watching other cartoons, she will inevitably be exposed to TV advertising. As parents, we automatically assume this is a bad thing — even though we might enjoy certain ads ourselves (enough to turn them into full-fledged TV shows, at least in the case of the Geico Cavemen). The American Psychological Association reports that the average child is exposed to 40,000 TV commercials a year. Marketers spend $12 billion a year on ads directed at children. To get a behind-the-scenes look at the thinking that goes into this spending, I invited an ad man turned professor to share his insights.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with Paul Kurnit, professor of marketing at Pace University. Paul also has his own business, Kurnit Communications and KidShop. A Cortlandt Manor resident, Paul has had experience on the other side of the TV screen as the father of two adult children, Ara and Jesse.

Q: You’ve helped companies like Disney, the Gap, General Mills, Hasbro, McDonald’s, Nickelodeon, Scholastic, Sony, Polaroid, Universal Studios and Pepsi market their products to children. What’s the biggest difference between reaching children and older consumers?

P: Children are consumed by and consumers of fun, wonder, fantasy, play and what if? With kids anything is possible. They are pre-socialized, direct, honest and critical in the most innocently perceptive ways. So, reaching them is both challenging and a blast. If so much of what we sell them is about enhancing their lives through discovery and fulfillment, the burden on the communication needs to be clear, differentiated, engaging and truthful. The promise of the experience had better be met by the experience itself. Because the kid buzz network can be brutal on any Monday morning in school when kids will trash an over-promised movie, toy, food or any other weekend purchase that has let them down.

Q: What are some of the techniques you helped companies use to advertise to kids? How has this business become increasingly sophisticated? Any war stories?

P: In the ’80s my advertising agency, Griffin Bacal, was a real pioneer in the kids advertising world. Here are several conventions in advertising we invented at that time:
• Animation for food advertising was commonly employed, but for toy advertising, it was not permitted by the networks. We changed that.
• As an innovative response to the huge success of “Star Wars� as a toy line with the movies as the inspiration for the play scenarios, we worked with Marvel Comics to develop a storyline platform first for GI Joe and then Transformers to provide a vehicle for kids to access the brand play patterns beyond the TV commercials we ran. We also produced TV programming for both — and for My Little Pony and other properties that became very successful in their own rite.
• We completely changed the face of board game advertising for kids by capturing the core fantasy idea of each game and executing it on film intercut with the actual game play. Until that time, virtually all board game commercials looked alike — four kids sitting around a board smiling and having fun, while a voiceover announcer explained the rules. Our work revitalized the Milton Bradley business that had been acquired by Hasbro.

Q: You also been an executive vice president at Sunbow Entertainment, which brought us TV shows based on toys like the Transformers, GI Joe and My Little Pony. When parents see programs that are tied so closely to toys, we sometimes worry the shows are little more than prolonged advertisements. What was it like inside that environment? Are we right to worry?

P: Don’t worry. Much was made of the “program-length advertising� issue. The Federal Trade Commission mandated that commercials for like properties could not run in or adjacent to programming of the same name or property. But, the real story here, both then and now, is if the program doesn’t have merit and hold kids’ interest as a unique entertainment form, the programming will die a quick death. A case in point was a doll property, Jem. We invented a great story about her, a music executive by day, a rock star by night. She had a band. There was a nemesis band. The doll property never made it past year one, but the programming had a successful run, two years after the dolls were pulled from toy store shelves.

Q: When parents hear the words “advertising” and “children” in the same sentence, we tend to get nervous. As someone who is both a parent and a marketing expert who has made a career out of selling stuff to kids, what’s your take?

P: Advertising is the engine of commerce and of democracy. Advertising plays a huge role in informing kids of what’s out there and inspiring interest in wanting goods and services. This is a rite of passage. It is access to the commercial world we live in. For those who express disdain and worse about advertising to kids, the train has left the station. We are no longer an agrarian or industrial 19th century nation where kids worked in fields and factories. Today’s kids are integrated into the fabric of society. Marketing and advertising is an essential part of that fabric.

Q: You also are involved with the Children’s Advertising Review Unit of the Better Business Bureau. What’s your reason for getting involved? And what are some of the problems you’ve seen in advertisements to kids?

P: I’ve been involved with CARU for over 25 years. I leapt at the opportunity to be part of this organization in the early days of my tenure at Griffin Bacal. I firmly believe that commercial communication to kids has got to be responsive and responsible. We need to be diligent and vigilant about the goods and services we “sell� to kids of varying ages. We need to be certain that our communication is truthful and accessible. And, we need to be constantly in step with new commercial techniques and media to ensure responsible communication to kids.

Q: What makes advertising to kids so powerful, in your view? Is it the child’s willingness to accept the message?

P: Advertising to kids has become much less powerful over time. Kids see so much of it that they are becoming both more immune to and critical of sales pitches. Research shows that about half of all kids today have a healthy distrust of advertising.

Q: What about the role children are playing in making household spending decisions? It seems kids are now only watching the ads, but using those inputs to influence their parents. How is this affecting advertising messages to children?

P: Kids play a large and growing role in household purchase decisions. We have seen a still relatively small but significant growth in kids’ influence regarding restaurant choices, vacations, technology products, cars and evening family home-buying decisions. It’s because today’s family is more closely knit than at any time in history. The post-war adage of “kids should be seen and not heard� is long over. Kids are active and activist members of the family — third parents in decision making.

Q: As a behind-the-scenes expert in this arena, how has this changed the habits in your own family over the years? Have you ever felt compelled to warn your kids about what they see on TV?

P: My kids grew up through all of the foregoing shift in the kid marketing world. My wife and I never restricted our kids in their TV viewing or toy playing. We always had an active dialog with them and provided a diverse panoply of activities — sports, friends, clubs, music, travel, dining out — to inspire balance in their evolving senses of self and relationship to the world.

Q: What advice do you have for parents who worry about their kids watching advertisements? What kind of conversations do you think are helpful to guide children to be discriminating viewers?

P: Worried parents create worried kids. Parents should be involved with their kids, talking to them, playing with them, guiding them, protecting them. If something on television is inappropriate for kids, parents can make that call, reasonably, realistically, rationally. Kids will “get it� and appreciate it. Parenting today needs to get back to some of the fundamentals. Kids need rules and limits — a good healthy “no� when appropriate — to grow up balanced, content and appreciative of what they have and who they are.

Thank you very much to Paul for sharing his knowledge by doing a Q&P! If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, drug counselor mom and pediatric dentist mom.

A friend who hasn’t stopped by my house since before Pumpkin was born came over recently. Her first words? “I don’t remember your house being this messy.” It’s true: You can divide our home into two stages: pre- and post-baby. Before Pumpkin was born, there wasn’t a bright pink high chair in the kitchen, bibs weren’t hanging on a cupboard knob and a rack of sippies and bottles weren’t drying on the counter. Before Pumpkin, the living room was an adult haven for reading and relaxing by the fire. Now, it’s a playroom, with enough colorful toys and stacks of board books to satisfy a small preschool class. These changes delight our family — but what if I were trying to sell my house? Would a potential buyer be able to see through the clutter to catch the charm of my home? Or would the litter of toys — and, sigh, stray Cheerios — put the kibosh any any deal? It’s a question that faces all parents when they sell their homes, even if the mess has morphed from Elmo dolls to a teenager’s video games, CDs and discarded clothing. I decided to ask someone experienced as both a parent and a real estate agent for her perspective.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with Scarsdale resident Claire Civetta, a real estate agent with Coldwell Banker and a mom of three children: Alexander, 20; Nicholas, 17; and Christie, 15. Claire knows what it’s like to buy and sell a home when children are in the picture. She offers some hope for parents who can’t purge all their children’s belongings — it turns out that buyers actually like a home with a lived-in look — as long as that doesn’t mean peanut butter-and-jelly smears on the bannister. As a mom who had had to transplant her kids more than once, Claire also offers tips for keeping the emotional upheaval to a minimum — and getting kids excited about a move.

Q: How does your advice for clients about buying and selling a house differ when you are dealing with parents of children living at home?

P: First and foremost, as a professional real estate broker, I carefully listen to my client’s concerns and needs, whether it involves children, pets or elderly parents. As a buyer’s agent, full disclosure regarding the property is appropriate and expected. I will share anything about the property and the location that I think would enhance their family lives. As a selling agent, I educate my seller as to how buyers will view their home. It can be a delicate conversation, especially if there are serious issues that effect the saleability of the home, like a child’s favorite musky smelling ferret, a propensity for toy clutter or a shabby yard. Buyers respond to the house and the environment, therefore it is important to educate the sellers on how a single issue — as simple as making sure the banisters are not sticky — can place the home in a unfavorable light. Years ago, I fell in love with a home because it was filled with books and children. There was not one television in the place, and the mother was sitting on the front porch reading to her children. I wanted that house before I walked in the door.

Q: When a parent is shopping for a new home, what is the best way to involve a child? How does it differ by age?

P: This is truly a personal call. I think getting a child involved “after” the house decision has been made — and if possible after the contracts are signed — is a healthy approach. There is always an immediate emotional response, either positive or negative. If there is a change of school involved, kids are absorbed with so much personal change that the fun stuff, like picking their bedroom or the colors for their room or having their friends participate, gives them control over their new environment. When my daughter was 10, we moved and not only did she pick the color for her new room but together we stenciled butterflies and ladybugs in her bathroom. In another move, I allowed my teenage daughter and her friend to paint her oversized closet. They had a blast putting their purple hand prints all over the walls.

Q: What happens when children accompany their parents to open houses and showings?

P: There is not one agent who does not have a “Saturday from hell” story when unruly kids are brought along for the ride. It is exhausting trying to educate a buyer, highlight a home, sell a location and navigate a child’s demand for attention. Serious buyers need to make good use of their time and remain focused. I help them by involving the kids, like allowing them to be the leader orgiving them one of my cards to hold. If the parents are reluctant to set clear rules as to what is appropriate in someone’s home, I gently set them. If that doesn’t work, I do the “distraction dance.” I have been fortunate that my “Saturday from hell” only involved a child throwing up in my car and not throwing a tantrum.

Q: What do you tell parents about protecting kids from the emotional ups and downs of the real-estate market, which can include getting your heart set on a house only to lose it to another buyer?

P: I believe that any house can be a home. Moving is one of the top three stress inducing changes, along with divorce and death. Exposing children to the adult fears and concerns about if and when a house will sell, or whether a family can afford the next house, is a personal decision. The buyer should know their child’s emotional texture and decide how much detail is appropriate. In my experience, all children — be they grade schoolers or teenagers — do not like the idea of moving, so why add more stress to the mix? Things like scheduling the showing when the kids are in school and having telephone discussions with your real estate agent without your children present can keep the process removed from their day-to-day lives. Once the contracts are signed, sealed and delivered, then the fun can begin.

Q: What about when you are trying to sell your house and your living room is full of Legos or your teenager’s room is a disaster area? How do you get your house in shape for buyers and still allow your kids to be kids?

P: Buyers respond to life. That is why you will hear many brokers say that it is more difficult to sell an empty house then a full one. If there is a teenager involved, it is difficult. But the saleability of the house is crucial. Sometimes the parent has to be more proactive and do the organizing and straightening. The showings can be arranged for after the cleaning day or while the kids are in school.

Q: What were your strategies with your children when you have had to move to a new home?

P: My children and I have moved several times, most recently in May. At their current ages — 20, 17 and 15 — they were more involved and interested in participating. Clear requests, like taking down existing wall paper and making sure we had wireless connections throughout the house, were easy for me to accommodate. At any age, the need for ownership and comfort is necessary.

Q: What advice do you give parents that you wish they all would follow?

P: Temper your excitement about a new house until contracts are signed. Understand how this move will change your child’s world. Allow them some age-appropriate control over their new environment. Be positive no matter what the reasons are for moving. And remember, any house can be a home!

Thank you very much to Claire for sharing her knowledge by doing a Q& P! If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, drug counselor mom and pediatric dentist mom.

A baby’s skin is beautiful, soft and oh-so-perfect. It’s hard for us imagine that in 30 or 40 years time our baby’s skin will look like (gasp!) our skin, with all the freckles, moles and laugh lines to match. It turns out that the steps we take now to keep our kids’ skin healthy can have long-lasting effects. That could mean fewer pimples in adolescence, fewer wrinkles in middle age and, most importantly, a reduced risk of skin cancer. To get tips for keeping children’s skin healthy, I turned to a doctor who has experience caring for the skin of his patients — and his own kids.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with David E. Bank, director of the Center For Dermatology, Cosmetic and Laser Surgery in Mount Kisco in Mount Kisco. David, a resident of Mount Kisco, is also the father of Michael, 15, and Alex, 11.

Q: What advice to you have for keeping children’s skin healthy?

P: There are many ways to keep children’s skin healthy. Routines such as gentle cleansing and light moisturizing daily are good, but the most important thing to remember is sun protection. Using sunscreens, sun protecting clothing or even cutting down on the amount of sun a child might get in one day will help reduce problems of the skin that the child might have in the future.

Q: How should a parent choose a dermatologist for a child? Is there a specialty in pediatric dermatology, or are all dermatologists trained to treat kids? What questions should a parent ask a dermatologist before making that first appointment?

P: Most dermatologists see children, but it is still important to ask if that particular doctor does or does not. Yes, there are pediatric dermatology specialists, but these specialists are usually seen for uncommon or difficult-to-treat conditions.

Q: At what age should a child have his or her first visit to a dermatologist, and what should happen on that visit?

P: It is never too early to start seeing a dermatologist. At that visit, the doctor will ask questions about the history of the child’s condition, examine the child’s skin and then make specific skin care recommendations that can be used to treat the child’s condition.

Q: What’s the skin care routine in your house?

P: The skin care routine in my house, and the one I most recommend to other parents, is wash in both the morning and night, moisturize lightly and use sun protection. Also, if needed, as my 15-year-old son does, use acne products.

Q: What kind of skin cleanser do you recommend for children and for teens? Is soap-and-water OK?

P: The type of skin cleanser depends on the child’s skin type. Over-the-counter gentle cleansers are a good place to start, but if the child’s skin tends to be oily, then soap and water is OK to use.

Q: How should parents of teens deal with acne? Are over-the-counter remedies OK? Any favorites? Any to avoid? How does your 15-year-old control pimples?

P: Yes, it is OK to use over-the-counter remedies due to the fact that most of these remedies contain some of the ingredients that are contained in prescription medications, such as benzoyl peroxide, sulfur, and/or salicylic acid. Try to avoid anything that’s going to irritate or dry out your child’s skin to the point of being uncomfortable. This all depends on your child’s skin type. Some over-the-counter product recommendations I would give are for OXY, Clearasil, and Proactive. My 15-year-old uses a prescription topical cleanser and an antibiotic (minocycline) that is taken by mouth.

Q: When we think of skin health, sunburn and cancer risk come to mind. Do today’s children get that connection? What do you tell parents about keeping their kids safe from ultraviolet rays?

P: Today’s kids are starting to get the connection between sunburn and cancer risk, but unfortunately many teens still go “tanning” and don’t wear sunscreen. When talking to parents about keeping their kids safe from UV rays, I try to get the parents to try several different types of sunscreen preparations such as sprays, creams, lotions, etc. Try to frame the question to the child. Ask, “Which one do you want to wear?” rather than, “Will you please put sunscreen on?” This might help your child figure out which sunscreen they like best and might make it a little easier and more enjoyable for the child.

Q: As the calendar turns to autumn, do parents still need to be vigilant about sunscreen? What other skin protection strategies are important for winter?

P: It is very important that parents remain vigilant about sunscreen, as it has been shown that the majority of accumulated sun damage is “incidental” sun that we get on a daily basis all year long. Also, it is important for parents to use moisturizers to help keep the skin healthy and hydrated.

Q: Is it safe and appropriate for teenagers to receive cosmetic skin treatments? And which ones are popular?

P: This is a very difficult to answer due to the fact that it depends on that particular child and the procedure that they want done. Many of our teens will have simple non-invasive cosmetic skin treatments, such as microdermabrasion and glycolic treatments, to clean out their pores (which are very popular). But this, of course, is very different and is not invasive compared to other procedures, such as liposuction. It all depends on the person and their own personal reasons for why they might want to do a particular procedure.

Thank you very much to David for sharing his knowledge by doing a Q&P! If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, drug counselor mom and pediatric dentist mom.

Discovering your child is abusing alcohol or drugs has got to be one of the most frightening parenting experiences of all. It’s also one most of us are probably unprepared to face. To help parents figure out how to distinguish between normal teenage experiments and addiction — and to learn the best way to intervene when your child is at risk — I turned to an expert in helping young people recover their health and their lives.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with Adrienne Marcus, executive director of the Lexington Center for Recovery. The Lexington Center treats people — including teens and adolescents — with alcoholism and other drug dependencies. In Westchester, the Lexington Center has programs in Mount Kisco, New Rochelle, Yonkers, White Plains and Peekskill. Adrienne, a resident of Mount Kisco, is also the mom of Rachel, 20, and Emily, 13.

Q: In your experience, how surprised are parents when they learn that their child needs help with substance abuse? Why didn’t they know?

P: Most parents are in denial. They don’t want to know, or even admit, that their child has a substance-abuse problem. Although they may notice behavioral changes — like their child not coming home at night, school grades slipping or not meeting responsibilities — they don’t know to what to attribute that. But when parents are told by a professional that their child has a problem — when there’s a label put on it — they feel a sense of relief, because now they have something specific to address and help with.

Q: What symptoms of substance abuse should parents be on the lookout for?

P: When a child’s behavior changes drastically, that’s usually a sign that the child is abusing substances. Substance abuse is very evident if you know what to look for: Severe mood swings, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, lying, diminished interest in hobbies or friends, avoiding family and overreaction to criticism are just a few signs of a problem.

Q: How can you decipher the difference between teenage experiments and addiction?

P: There is a very clear difference between experimentation and addiction. Experimentation does not prompt severe behavioral changes like addiction does. If you notice those signs, and if you have to ask yourself if your child has a problem, he probably does.

Q: What’s the best way to intervene if you think your child is abusing drugs or alcohol? Where should you do it? What should you say?

P: There’s a very simple answer to this question: Ask yourself what you would do if your child had a debilitating physical disease. You’d do everything in your power to help, right? Addiction is also a disease, so you should seek out as much help and support as you can. Ask your clergy person, a school guidance counselor or your child’s physician to provide support, too. They are all professionals who can help you develop a plan for intervening. Both parents must be on the same page about their child’s problem so that they can address their child from a united front. Parents also need to look at their own behavior and addictions, because they’re models for their children. In talking to their kids, parents should address the issue in the same manner in which they would discuss anything else. They should use the same kind of language they normally use to communicate. The conversation should be kept open and comfortable so that the child does not feel as if he is under attack — rather, he should feel loved and nurtured, because an intervention is not an inherently comfortable situation.

Q: Can parents help children themselves, or should they look for a rehabilitation program? And, how do you choose a program?

P: I can’t reiterate enough that an addiction should be addressed like a physical disease — with all the help possible. Unfortunately, though, the first step should be to check your insurance policy to see what it will cover. I am also a firm believer that recovery comes with a loving circle of support, which is part of Lexington Center for Recovery’s mission statement. It is so important for parents and families to be involved. Therefore, I don’t believe that sending a child away to “take care of the situation” themselves is a healthy option. Outpatient programs, such as those we offer, begin with evaluations. The evaluation will determine what the core issues are, what the addict needs to work on and how the recovery counselors are going to help. If you don’t like the results of the evaluation, or if you don’t like a particular approach to that program’s recovery process, seek out the help of another program. In Westchester County, there are many options. You can begin your search at the Department of Community Mental Health.

Q: How can you develop a trusting relationship with your child in the context of substance abuse?

P: A trusting relationship has to be developed over time, but when confronting a child about his substance abuse, do it in a loving, caring manner. To prevent your child from feeling attacked in the case of a confrontation or discussion, make sure you express concern. Children don’t want to be patronized, so tell them that you expect them to get help and make suggestions on how they can. That will empower them, enable them to feel more comfortable knowing that they have parental support, and work to overcome their addiction.

Q: When did you start teaching your own children about avoiding drugs? What did you say and how did the language of that message change as they grew up?

P: My philosophy is to be honest about everything with my children, including the nature of my work. I started educating them at a young age about alcohol and substance abuse. My daughters practically grew up at Lexington Center for Recovery. They were always here, interacting with our clients and our counselors. They were exposed to the dangers of substance use and saw firsthand the damage it causes. Of course, they learned about it in school, as well, so the message was coming from a variety of different sources. That’s an important factor in educating children: Repetition. If they receive information from a variety of trusted sources, they are more likely to heed advice.

Q: What’s the one thing you wish parents would do to help their kids avoid ending up in a program like yours?

P: Parents really need to look at their own behavior. One of the hardest things for parents to understand is that their behavior is mimicked by their children. It might be one of the hardest things they’ll ever do, but if a parent has a drink at dinner every night with their child, they need to strongly consider how their child is going to view alcohol consumption. At the end of the day, it’s about behavior modeling.

Thank you very much to Adrienne for sharing her knowledge by doing a Q&P. If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom and pediatric dentist mom.

Art, for kids, is not an abstract. It’s what they do — with finger paints, crayons, Play-Doh and even their mashed potatoes. And what are picture books, but page after page of wonderful illustrations that invite children to revel in the imaginative possibilities of art? As a mom, I want to inspire Pumpkin to delight in the art that she creates as well as the art of others. The first Baby Einstein DVD I bought was “Baby Van Gogh.” When “Starry Night” comes on the TV screen, it makes me happy to think the painting will be part of her visual lexicon — and I’m looking forward to taking her to see the original at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. Our first museum trip was to the Smithsonian American Art Museum. While she certainly had a great time running around the vast galleries of 20th-century paintings and sculpture, I don’t know how much she absorbed. Our next step will be the cozier Katonah Museum of Art, which is just a few short miles from my home. The current exhibit, “Children Should Be Seen: The Image of the Child in American Picture-Book Art” is a natural for any child who has cracked open a book.

Today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short, is with Neil Watson, executive director of the Katonah Museum of Art. Neil, a resident of Katonah, kindly offers his insight for introducing children to art museums — and gives useful tips on the best ways to make the experience pleasurable for everyone. (A full stomach is a must.) Neil also tells us what it’s been like to be a museum executive and the father of a 6-year-old art lover named Cleo. This picture below shows the pair in 2003 at the Museum of Glass, where Neil was chief curator. They are wearing goggles because they were on the floor with artists while they were blowing glass.

Q: People often think of art galleries and museums as places that are quiet and contemplative — not adjectives you’d use to describe the atmosphere around most kids. Do children belong there?

P: The Katonah Museum welcomes children and families. For each exhibition, our education department creates unique activities and projects for children as a way to engage in the art. These activities provide a way for children to channel their energy appropriately, to learn about looking at and seeing art and to have fun, which we hope translates into wanting to come back!

Q: What should a parent do if a fellow art patron seems unhappy with youthful exuberance?

P: Bringing children to a museum is similar to taking them out to eat at a restaurant or to a movie. If parents prepare their children for what is acceptable behavior in these settings, then half the battle is won. At the Katonah Museum, we have a dedicated learning center where parents and children can enthusiastically engage in coloring, drawing and creating their own art. And we have an outdoor sculpture garden where children can frolic should they get the urge.

Q: Is there an ideal age to start taking children to art galleries and museums? Does it depend on the museum? For example, the Museum of Modern Art versus the Metropolitan Museum versus a smaller venue like the Katonah Museum of Art?

P: Like people, each museum has a personality all its own. I think a museum that is the scale of the Katonah Museum is actually a terrific way to introduce youngsters to art viewing because it is not overwhelming and the exhibitions are designed to engage visitors of all ages.

Q: Is there a time of day that’s best to bring kids? How long should a visit be?

P: I think we all appreciate looking at art when we’re not tired or hungry, when we can focus our attention and engage. For some of us that’s earlier in the day — during the week we open at 10 — or after lunch. In the Learning Center on Saturdays, the museum has a free story time at 10:30. On Saturdays and Sundays at 1, there is a free “See and Do� art activity, so those are also good times for families to visit the museum.

Q: How can parents help their kids connect with the art in a museum?

P: One great thing parents can do is to prepare themselves before a visit is to take a look at a museum’s Web site and familiarize themselves with the exhibition they are going to see. Is it appropriate for children? Does their child have a special interest that the exhibition speaks to? For larger institutions, knowing things like where the bathrooms are or if there is a restaurant can be very helpful. Parents can even print out materials for their children to read or look at on the journey to the museum and allow their child to set the agenda for the visit.

Q: When did you introduce Cleo to art galleries and museums? Which have been her favorites and what has made the experiences special?

P: My wife, Jude, who is a writer, and I moved, with Cleo, in 2001 from West Palm Beach, Fla., to the Pacific Northwest, when Cleo was 6 weeks old. I was hired as the chief curator at the brand new, not-yet-opened Museum of Glass, in Tacoma, Wash. Cleo was going to gallery openings in Seattle by the time she was 4 months old. She attended the opening of the Museum of Glass in 2002 and has been going to galleries and museums ever since. Cleo does have a certain allegiance to the Katonah Museum, as she will point out, “Daddy, after all, I am a member.� And she is.

Cleo has always enjoyed the KMA’s Learning Center and the Sculpture Garden. While she has been to many museums, Cleo is partial to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and loves the Egyptian galleries specifically — it’s the mummies that get her, and, of course, the knights and armor galleries. Cleo and I went to the Met this past spring and we took the audio tour, which is self-guided, fun and educational — all in one. Not only did she like the hand-held audio hardware — and Cleo was very adept at plugging in the appropriate audio tour number — she also loved wearing the “ear muffs” (headphones). She was not content to listen to only the family tours that many objects have — she wanted to listen to the regular adult commentaries as well. And she listened to the entire explanation. She also likes the Museum of Modern Art, which, because of the large scale of many contemporary works of art, is fun for kids. The Museum of Natural History is just that, a natural for kids. I would have to say that Cleo truly loves all of the museum stores equally, and she shops!

Q: Have you explored other museums in the Lower Hudson Valley? If so, which are your favorites for kids, and why?

P: I think the Hudson River Museum does an excellent job with kids. The Neuberger Museum of Art is also a great institution, which is part of SUNY Purchase. Across the street from them is the PepsiCo outdoor sculpture park, and that is a great place for kids to run around and see magnificent outdoor sculpture. Although not in lower Westchester, Cleo had a great time at Dia Beacon, which is a 275,000-square-foot museum that was once a printing plant for Nabisco. Dia is a great outing for the entire family, even if you do not know about the art that Dia specializes in, specifically Minimalism from the later 20th century. The space is terrific, and the art is wonderful. It is less than an hour from Katonah. Not far from Dia is the Storm King Art Center, a unique sculpture park, that is primary site-specific, outdoor sculpture, and is just a great deal of fun and awe inspiring for all ages. They have an Andy Goldsworthy stone wall that disappears into a pond that enthralls everyone who sees it.

Q: Can you explain why your new exhibit — “Children Should Be Seen: The Image of the Child in American Picture-Book Art” — is a good one for children? Is there a particular age group that’s best?

P: There are so many ways for children to engage in the “Children Should Be Seen” exhibition. For many, this may be an opportunity to see original art work from some of their favorite story books. For others it may be a chance for them to understand all of the different ways art is made — paintings, collages, drawings, photographs. They may be inspired to write and illustrate their own stories after seeing this exhibition. And for this exhibition, we turned the museum’s Pryor Gallery into a comfy reading room where children can read many of the books that are featured in the exhibition. I think this exhibition appeals to children who are old enough to be read to, and up from there.

Q: How can children benefits from programs at the Katonah Museum of Art’s Learning Center?

P: The Katonah Museum Learning Center is always open for drop-in activities that enhance and expand a visit to the museum. Throughout the year, the museum offers regularly scheduled art classes for children ages 3 to 5, and for children in grades 1 through 5. For more than 20 years, we have hosted a Young Artists exhibition drawn from the work of high school students from Fairfield, Westchester, and Putnam counties.

Thank you very much to Neil for sharing his knowledge by doing a Q&P! If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here are links to earlier Q&P features. There are interviews with more than a dozen moms and dads, including a dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, environmentalist mom, pediatric dentist mom and a couple of parents who are bicycle experts.

Here’s a confession: I am not an “organizedâ€? mom. Even though my financial papers are so well in order that I could give you my credit card receipts from 1999, I still haven’t devised a system for all of the stuff having a child generates. Pumpkin’s Social Security card? Stashed in my bill organizer. Her pediatrician’s phone number? My brain. Her immunization schedule? Hmm, I’m counting on the doctor to keep that. It’s for people like me that Pam Socolow of Mount Kisco created the “Family Facts: Family Life Organizer & Planner,â€? an oversized binder designed to record and store all sorts of household data. Here is a link to a story about Pam in today’s paper. If you are in the neighborhood, she’ll be giving a talk on organization at 6:30 tonight at the Barnes & Noble in Mohegan Lake.

I turned to Pam for her perspective on keeping organized for today’s Questions & Parents feature, or Q&P for short. Pam isn’t just an entrepreneur — she’s the mom of 11-year-old Kevin and 8-year-old Katie (pictured below with mom in a photo by staff photographer Tom Nycz).

Q: Why be organized when it’s so much easier to let things slide?

P: Organized people save time and money and reduce stress and frustration levels.

Q: When did you realize you had to get organized?

P: I’ve always been organized, but realized that I needed a better system when both of my kids were in elementary school and busy with after-school programs.

Q: Is there something about being a mom that makes organizing a must?

P: Young children demand a lot of time and energy, and sometimes you don’t have a lot of time — or energy for that matter. When you’re busy being a mom and you need information, whether it’s to call the pediatrician or the painter, RSVP for a 4-year-old’s birthday party or the neighborhood block party, remember when your child had his immunization shot or if there’s a soccer practice today, you want to find the information quickly and do what you have to do efficiently.

Q: How do you keep the mountains of stuff your children’s lives generate — from artwork to short stories to report cards — organized?

P: I keep artwork and literature that my children generate each year in covered plastic bins. The bins are labeled and stored in the basement. I keep all report cards and state test scores together, in the same spot for the last six years. So when the report cards and test scores come in, I know where to put them. If you were to ask to see a specific year for one of my kids, I could find it rather quickly. It’s all about systems and habits.

Q: Are your children organized? If you asked them to find something in their rooms, would they be able to?

P: One child has better organizing habits than the other; however, both have been taught good organizing skills. Put it this way, we’re never delayed — running out the door — because either child is looking for their shoes (or because I’m looking for my keys).

Q: How often do you dip into your Family Life Organizers, and what for?

P: I dip into the FLO (Family Life Organizer) sometimes a few times in one day, and sometimes only once, just to check the calendar. Yesterday alone, I had to tell a friend where our seats were for the upcoming baseball game so I quickly checked the tickets. I wanted to know the dress code for a party we’re going to, so I reviewed the invitation in the calendar pocket folder. After receiving the school Emergency Dismissal Form in the mail, I quickly filled it out by looking up home and cell numbers for the appropriate people. Now that it’s time to buy back-to-school supplies, I pulled out the list — sent home on the last day of school, three months ago — from the Kids pocket folder and we’re ready to go.

Q: Do you have any tips for making it less a chore and more fun when it comes to filling out your organizer for the first time?

P: You don’t have to fill it out completely in order for it to start working for you. I don’t recommend filling it out in between helping with homework and making dinner — wait until you have time to yourself. Light a scented candle or make a cup of tea and enjoy the quiet time. Obviously, the more information you put in, the more information you’ll have for the next time you need it.

Thank you very much to Pam for sharing her knowledge by doing a Q& P! If you would like to be featured, or you know any parents who have expertise to share, please comment here on the blog or send me an e-mail at jalterio@lohud.com.

And, in case you missed them, here is a link to earlier Q&P features with a Web-savvy mom, dog trainer dad, financial planner mom, writer mom, mathematician mom, baker mom, environmentalist mom, pediatric dentist mom and a couple of parents who are bicycle experts.